• 

INVEST in yourself, your needs and your future, not his. Because if he walks away, guess what? You would have wasted your valuable resources on someone who didn’t deserve it.

Do not be quick to “build with him”. Ignore the fools that encourage you to “Give him a break.”

You are not Bob the Builder and you shouldn’t be building on his (or your) “broken”.

Many other women who don’t look like you were raised to have requirements and to not settle. But somehow when we seek the same, we are called “gold diggers”. Ignore that ish too.

INVEST your time, energy and money in you. If he wants to be with you, he should already be “built” and fully equipped.

You don’t have to be a warrior against every injustice in world and for those who never consider you as part of the equation.

Though they expect it of you, you have a right to simply stay in your corner and fight for yourself and what is good for you.

He should not expect that of you either. If anything, he should be the one in front of you protecting you.

You are allowed to be HUMAN, not superhuman.

• 

GROWTH means learning from mistakes and seeking better for yourself.

GROWTH means looking back just enough to keep you propelling forward towards better things.

GROWTH can be hard but the end result will be beautiful.

If he tries to keep you rooted where you are and where you don’t want to be, he’s not the one from you.

Move on.

You are allowed to embrace your FEMININITY in the same way women of other cultures do.

Lean into your FEMININITY and away from the masculine energy you were conditioned to take on.

Sis, you know what I am talking about.

It may feel uncomfortable at first but the moment you start prioritizing your FEMININITY first and above all else, you will quickly realize the game that has been played on you.

You are more than ENOUGH.

You don’t need to prove yourself to him or anyone else.

If he thinks that you are not good ENOUGH for him, dump him so that he can enjoy being better than you alone.

Bonus: I enjoy the Cultivating H.E.R. Space – Uplifting Conversations for the Black Woman podcast. You may want to take a listen to this episode called “Coming to Grips with Being Enough with Dr. Jannis Moody“. This is not an affiliate link, I’m simply sharing.

DEALBREAKERS are things you will not stand for.

Decide what they are and make a written list long before you need to. Promise yourself that you will stick to them because they are DEALBREAKERS.

Your list should not include superficial things like not being with a man who is not 6″4, that doesn’t have green eyes and who drives a vehicle less expensive than a Porsche.

Think about the DEALBREAKERS that are actually important.

Maybe it’s a man who:

• smokes any kind of substance;
• has children by multiple women and/or never sees them and/or does not financially support them;
• is often rude to waitstaff when you go out; or
• compares you to other women every time he opens his mouth…

It’s YOUR list, your business and no one needs to know what’s on it.

Happy Sunday!

So far so good with my daily A to Z Challenge posts since I haven’t fallen behind.

But I just want to point out a few things about my A to Z Challenge posts:

• I am a women who is Black so my posts are flavored with that perspective;
• they focus on the relationships between men and women because those are the experiences my friends and I often discuss. Of course, the posts can apply to all types of love;
• due to the recent tragic events of which some of you are aware, sharing some tidbits to other women is important to me right now.
• they are “food for thought” and are in no way professional advice of any sort. Take what you need as food for thought and spit out the rest; and
• I may be doubling back to update certain posts by adding links to certain podcasts loosely related to the day’s topic.

Ok, now that I’ve clarified that, time to relax!

M xoxo