Conversations for ladies approaching 40 and beyond with a melanated focus

I spoke to this in a previous post here.

For the longest time (and more than a few failed attempts), I have wanted to create a space where a small group of women like me could exchange information, advice and experiences.

More than ever and with the present pandemic situation, I think that this kind of space is important and a few of my peers agree so in the coming weeks, we will look into developing something “limited” and small as a network for women like us.

These peers and I are all busy and in different time zones but we have common and varied interests. We exchange throughout the day on a private chat that is often funny, sometimes very serious but is always interesting and thought that maybe others would like a similar space to chat.

Yes, there are many spaces online that already exist but not only is there sometimes a hefty cost but I personally find that the focus of a lot of these groups is often geared for women under 40 and/or more superficial-type topics.

But that’s just my opinion…

So here is my question to you:

Would you like to join a small online group of women who are approaching 40 and beyond interested in exchanging and sharing privately about life experiences, having brave and honest conversations while living a melanated life?

And by private, we mean that your posts/comments would only be seen by those in the group.

Note: I have been tasked with testing out a group chat app, GroupMe, with a very limited number of ladies for a few weeks to see how the app will work. If you are interested in “chatting” with us during our app test period, drop me a line at with “Chat” in the Subject line, your email address and your pseudonym if you would like to use a different name.



So glad it’s over!

And just like that, the A to Z Challenge is over and I need to rejuvenate.

Between this challenge, the daily work grind, and helping others deal with the loss of a loved one, it’s been a stressful month.

It doesn’t help that I have gotten about 6 hours sleep in the few days doing the family’s taxes for April 30th deadline after work. I was organized enough to prepare and file by the end of March but when that family tragedy struck…

All that to say that I will be taking a mini break while I sort myself out for the coming weeks. – nothing directly related to my fiction writing but more to do with the space a few peers and I would like to create for Gen X’ers like me.

I’ll also be spending time enjoying the works of some of my fellow friends/bloggers like Felicia Denise, Author who wrote such raw and powerful posts about grief and her feelings for the A to Z Challenge and What Sandra Thinks – Sandra who is always open, authentic and hilarious and her A to Z posts are pretty good too. 🙂

In the meantime, take care and stay well while I go and treat myself!

Z is for Zero #AtoZChallenge @AtoZChallenge

Photo by Anete Lusina on

Returning to ZERO is not a failure.

It simply means that you have learned from your mistakes and are courageous enough to dust yourself off to try again with your new knowledge.

Starting from ZERO is a chance at a fresh path and reinventing yourself into who you were meant to blossom into before you were with him.

Y is for Yes #AtoZChallenge @AtoZChallenge

Say YES to going where you are loved, wanted and admired, not where you are discarded right after being strategically used whenever convenient.

Say YES to opening up your options. It is not true that only men who look like you want you. Don’t continue believing that lie. Other men are checking for you – all you need to do is look around and notice them.

Character over color – at all times. Remember, go where you are celebrated.

X is for XXX #AtoZChallenge @AtoZChallenge

He may ask you to send him naked pics because he wants to “look at you” when you aren’t with him.

His request may make you feel sexy like a Victoria Secret model but fast-forward to when your love is in the toilet and he threatens to send the photos to your family/workplace and show all of his friends…

You won’t be feeling very sexy when a photo of your hoohaa is circulating around town, will you?

Instead, turn the tables. Tell him to send you pictures of his junk FIRST and see how he reacts…

Then sit back, watch and listen closely to his excuses about why he can’t do the same for you…

W is for Womb #AtoZChallenge @AtoZChallenge

Protect your WOMB.

Having a baby with the wrong man can lead to a lifetime of struggle and stress.

I’ve seen one too many friends deal with co-parenting nightmares with men they should have never looked twice at.

Guard your WOMB by increasing the protection that YOU have control over, for example, a female condom, bc pills and/or other forms your physician can talk to you about. If he tries to pressure to NOT using condoms, dump him quick.

If you don’t know what “stealthing” is, read up on it. Just because the term is not trending anymore doesn’t mean that it is happening less.

Some men will purposely try to get you pregnant because you are doing too well and they want to ruin your life plans or they want to keep you chained to them forever and be a thorn in your side for all your future relationships.