That’s what I did this morning with the story on Wattpad that I’m writing. Rewriting and adding important layers and nuances to the character are hard work!
But I’m enjoying that I’m taking my time and not pressuring myself to impossible personal deadlines.
This story will be what I envision it to be and I want it to resonate for those who will catch the truth behind the fiction.
Below is an excerpt but you can read the full installment here.
Fairy tales are reserved for White girls.
My name isn’t Belle, Cinderella, Snow White or Ariel (I’m talking about the traditional Ariel) so from the get-go, I knew that my chances at finding Prince Charming were slim to none.
According to the ruthless teasing from my brothers growing up, I wasn’t “black and beautiful” or “Dark and Lovely” like the boxes of hair relaxers in my mother’s closet, I was simply “dark and ugly”, which definitely didn’t help the way I saw myself.
It also didn’t help that throughout grade school, all the compliments and attention reigned over the blue-eyed blond-haired Lily. I quickly learned that I would be always be overlooked and the last chosen in most areas of my life.
Happily-ever-afters weren’t a part of my world either. The leading ladies in the corny Hallmark channel movies I used to mindlessly watch on my dateless Saturday nights? Now, they had it all…
Dominic was the love of my life until I killed him twice.
And both times, I can’t say that I was sad about it. But I’m not going to get into that with you just yet.
If you want to know the whole truth, you’ll have to be patient with me. Whenever I think about what happened, it’s like that slap from Dominic all over again and I’m left wondering how I got into it all in the first place.
I’ve never told anyone but God the entire story about what happened but I’m thinking…maybe it’s time to do it now?
This secret has been eating away at me and no matter what I do, it keeps bubbling up to my surface, trying to escape. I need to get this weight off of my chest and the only way I can do it is by writing it down.
If I was really smart, I wouldn’t write it down at all, especially online like what I’m doing right now. But I’ve decided to throw caution to the wind. Maybe my story will turn out to be a bunch of incoherent ramblings – I don’t know.
Just know this – I’m not a bad person. I needed to do what needed to be done to free myself from Dominic. And maybe, just maybe, what I have to say will free someone else too.
You know what they say – two can keep a secret if one of them is dead.
Lately, I keep stumbling across many of my blogger friends who have taken a social media break, are currently on a break or will be taking a break because they are either social media’ed out or just need to redirect their focus to more important things for now.
I totally get that.
I’ve been keeping my blog at arm’s length since I returned home from vacation and it has felt good. So good that I’m thinking about going cold turkey from all social media platforms for a while.
Strange but true – I don’t miss my blog.
And it is indeed strange because there was a time when I loved finding things to blog. But the more I keep my distance, the more my “writing” thoughts are becoming clearer.
The fears I had left about writing are all but gone and I think that I’ve found an approach to overcome the intimidation I feel over self-publishing without getting egg on my face.
Part of my writing problem was also that the gaggle of characters I had in my head back when I was in my 20s were also in their 20’s like me.
Well, I’m far from being in my 20s and have zero interest in writing about 20-somethings at my age. But I guess that I still had to sort of “mourn” the loss of what I could have written.
But nothing happens before it’s time, right?
The more I keep my WordPress posts infrequent, the deeper I feel I can breathe. So maybe I will take a break from other social media platforms for a while…who knows?