Continued from Revenge is a Dish Best Served Hot-Part 4
My foot nervously tapped against the floor, keeping time with the speed of my racing heart. I stared out of the bedroom window and thought about the last time I’d been here with Ella.
The times I’d called her from rehab, she hadn’t picked up. And now that I was back for good, I’d finally mustered up the nerve to try again. Somehow, I’d expected her to continue ignoring my calls so I was left speechless when she actually answered. I had rehearsed my apology a thousand times and now all my words had evaporated into thin air.
“What do you want Jake?”
What did I really want to say to her? I’m sorry? Thank you? I no longer knew.
“Ella, just tell me what you want me to do to make it up to you.”
I’d fucked it all to hell but if I was going to lose her, I was going to go down fighting. I heard her sigh deeply.
“When I was trying to tell you what to do Jake, you didn’t want to listen.”
“I wasn’t thinking clearly.”
“You were thinking clear enough to pull all that other shit I knew nothing about. Look, it doesn’t matter anyways because it’s too late.”
When Ella dug her heels in, she dug them in deep. Her anger had deepened with each month that I’d been gone. Ella wasn’t a forgiving woman and I was finding out the hard way.
“Ella, please don’t write me off. Rehab was the best thing for me. I should have listened to you a long time ago.”
“Mira…Look, I’m happy for you. But I’m not jumping back on the crazy Jake train. I’ve fallen enough for your shit, figuratively and literally, ” Ella said, pissed beyond words as she referred to the accident.”You’ve caused me more grief than you know. I’m done kissing a fool.”
I’d only found out about the accident when I got out. Garrett and Mother had kept it quiet in fear that I’d ditch rehab to go see her. And they would have been right. But Ella already knew all of that.
“Are you all healed now?”
I was almost too afraid to ask but I needed to know. It was all my fault. If Ella hadn’t been with me that night, none of it would have happened.
“Physically, yes. For the most part.”
There was a long awkward silence.
“I’m so sorry for everything. I know that it might be too late but I need to say it. You are the only one that sees me for me. The real me. You accepted me, warts and all, even with all the shit I did. And I’ve never appreciated it. You always have my back.”
“The past tense of “have” is “had”. I don’t have your back anymore.”
I was quiet, feeling my heart break into tiny little pieces. This was the end of me and the only person I still wanted in my life.
“I think that your mother pushed me down those stairs.”
My foot stopped mid-tap just as my heart did.
“What did you say?”
“Actually that’s not true. I know that your mother pushed me Jake.”
Continuation – “Ready or Not”.
©2016 Marquessa Matthews. All Rights Reserved.
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