Willy Wonka And The Baby Factory

I’m minding my own business and doing my thing on the beach. But I can’t help overhearing a conversation between a small group of men sitting nearby having a “good old boys” time.

Like so many who fly down to PR just for the weekend, it’s clear that these “boys” are in town to party and that the Medalla drinking and cigar puffing is part of the pre-party festivities.

My ears perk up when one of the men starts talking about his latest baby momma. I try not to judge people but I can’t help myself with him.  It’s clear that the children he has are from multiple women and that he sees it as some kind of warped badge of honor.

I’m already rolling my eyes behind my sunglasses but my eyes bug out when he says, “I tell you man, these females are sooo tricky. Always getting themselves pregnant so that they can trap you into paying for them.”

Females?

Always getting themselves pregnant?

Paying for them?

I take a closer look at him and truly wonder what woman in her right mind would let him within 10 feet of her whooha but to each her own taste.

I text a friend to share my judgmental thoughts and almost die with laughter at her response:

“Total loser! If he chose not to cover his d*** before he did the deed, the only asshole to blame is himself. He probably Willy Wonka’ed some poor girl who was too young to know better.”

Me:

“Are you watching Charlie and the Chocolate Factory again?”

Friend:

“Yup. It’s part of a Johnny Depp movie marathon on tv. How did you know?”

Me:

“Just a good guess.”

All Rights Reserved ©2017 Marquessa Matthews

 

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