“I’ve Never Been with a Black Girl” #writerwednesday #black #swirling #race #blackhistorymonth

He was very pretty to look at and I was hoping there were brains to back up that face…

Christina Lu love cute heart holding hands


At a local cafΓ©, somewhere near the end of a first lunch date

This piece is not meant to discourage “swirling” (interracial dating). I am “pro-swirl” and always in favor of all women choosing to be with someone who loves, respects and treats them well, regardless of race. Content of character above the color of someone’s skin is what is important.


“I’ve never been with a Black girl before.”

I wasn’t surprised that “swirling” was new for him. The popularity of characters like Olivia and Fitz on shows like “Scandal” seemed to have opened up a new world of dating doors for Black women.

“Well, there’s a first time for everything,” I said.

I decided to assume that his use of “been” really meant “dated”, otherwise he would have been getting way ahead of himself. He was very pretty to look at and I hoped he had brains to back up that face.

“Wait until I tell my friends!”


He sounded like some five year old who couldn’t wait to show off a new toy at “Show and Tell”.

The glee and tone of his words wreaked of a man eager to earn his “Black belt”.

Any hope I possibly had about brains and brawn flew straight out the window.

Needless to say, there was no second coffee date.

Β©2017 Marquessa Matthews. All Rights Reserved.

Originally posted September 24, 2015


82 thoughts on ““I’ve Never Been with a Black Girl” #writerwednesday #black #swirling #race #blackhistorymonth

        1. Thanks for the comment – I didn’t realize that this post could have been mistaken as anti-swirl. This piece was to simply reflect some of the stupid things Black women may have heard. I am “pro-swirl” and in favor of ALL WOMEN who choose to be with someone who loves, respects and treats them like the Queens they are – content of character above the color of someone’s skin!

          Liked by 3 people

  1. How ridiculous… Did you tell him “wait till I tell mine” before posting about his stupidity? πŸ˜‰ Funny how great looks often come with no brain. Probably because those people are so used not to make any effort to reach out, they just have to be. I met one of them a few years ago, I was astonished each time he would open his mouth by his level of stupidity. I had invited him over a diner at my best friends’ and I remember her telling me over dessert ” at least he is a nice piece of decoration” πŸ˜›

    Liked by 3 people

  2. Oh this was excellent.
    Doesn’t surprise me one blink of an eye though. White men have been saying stupid stuff to me my entire long life.
    I’ve never heard the term “swirling” before. Nor know anything about Scandel. TV Show I am assuming.
    But I do love this post, your writing, and this website dear Marquessa.

    Liked by 3 people

  3. He sounds utterly mindless and limited to me. I think saying, “I just need to go to the restroom,” leaving the table and then walking straight out of the cafΓ© would have been more than acceptable in the circumstances.

    I do remember meeting someone of his calibre many years ago, who was equally shocking and at the end of our meeting I extended my hand and said. “Good afternoon, I must say meeting you has been a thoroughly second-rate experience” and the look of surprise on his face nearly made up for the pain of meeting him !!

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Thanks for the comment. I think I understand what you are saying to a certain degree. This specific story was about an immature man who thought it was different and trendy to date a Black woman. Outside of this post, I see a HUGE difference between “being trendy”, “preference” and “fetish”. “Fetish” implies “abnormal” and if I have always disliked the manner in which articles/magazines quickly link a man (or woman’s) preference for Black Women as abnormal, as if BW aren’t desirable for just being themselves. When a man prefers blonds, I never hear the term “fetish” used. I’ll be speaking to this on my other blog this summer. Thanks for the reminder. πŸ‘

      Liked by 1 person

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