I always try my best to bring a certain level of realism to my fiction.
So when I speak about domestic abuse, I often do it in a slightly subtle way. I want you to think about situations you have experienced or that someone close may have confided to you. And from the comments I’ve received on past fiction, many of you know the signs…
The way he accuses you of lying when you simply forget to mention something trivial, how he thinks he has the right to comb through your text messages and web browser history, the third degree you get if you are a few minutes late, how he tells you that no other man will ever want you and best of all, how he purposely creates unnecessary conflict to alienate you from your loved ones…
Those are just a few of the red flags.
[For diagram of Power and Control click here]
A while back, watching a Grey’s Anatomy episode (Season 14, episode “1-800-799-7233”) and a powerful scene where Joe warns a woman to stay away from her ex, it reminded me of my “Woman to Woman” piece (which I re-titled for a challenge at Christmas).
My fiction piece may not be as riveting as the Grey’s scene below but the message is the same: “When your man’s former flame warns you and she has nothing to gain, listen very closely with both ears, walk away and don’t look back. Because you deserve better.”
[Link to Grey’s Anatomy scene]
Marquessa 
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Thank you for posting the Power and Control wheel. I saw it for the first time several years ago when my son was seeing a therapist and we both identified with each cog on the wheel as something my ex did to us. It is a powerful thing to see your experiences on this wheel.
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Yes, it is quite surprising when you are out of the situation and wonder how you ended up in a vicious wheel. But better late than never as long as you get out of the situation.
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We can never have too many conversations on this topic. These “men” are like army sergeants; they isolate you + break you down only to rebuild you to feel small and worthless.
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It’s amazing how many of them are around…
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Hey girl & Yeesss girl! I have never seen this wheel before, but I am glad you posted it. Thank you! I have experienced most of these and it leads to emotional abuse. Awareness is always key 🙂
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These are all signs to get out quick. You’re welcome.
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Absolutely! How you been by the way?
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Can’t complain. You?
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That’s good, same here
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It’s surprising how many women (and men) convince themselves this is normal ‘loving’ behavior. SMH.
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Its even more surprising that smart, self-sufficient professional woman can find themselves in this trap.
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It wasn’t until someone showed me the cycle of abuse that I realized how bad my own abusive relationship was. Thank you for sharing this. Love does not hurt!
https://polldaddy.com/js/rating/rating.js
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Yes. Love does not hurt!
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This is new to me Marquessa-I’ve never seen this wheel before. Great read and informative💫e
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Glad it was useful fir you and thanks for retweeting it!
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