Great Sex Requires Effort


Just enough intensity …anticipating what will happen next …before diving deeper…visualizing just how …

love girl kawaii heart hearts

I think that the definition of “romance” may have changed when I wasn’t looking.

A while back, I started (and stopped) reading a number of books on Kindle Unlimited after just a few chapters, either because lots of Easter Eggs and back story were given away within the first few pages OR because the book was simply a string of sex scenes strung together by an anemic story line.

Call me old-fashioned but great sex scenes in a novel require more than sexually explicit words tossed carelessly onto a page.

Or a bed.

In my opinion, writing a great sex scene requires effort, patience and some kind of love thrown into the mix in order to give the characters a happy ending.

That pun was totally intended! 🙂

But there was one e-book that had me shaking my head at just how quickly things unfolded and then deflated.

The breakdown of the book?

4% : Female character (FC) tells her boyfriend that she’s pregnant and the boyfriend dumps her.

6%: FC gets upset, storms out, has a minor accident and is helped by a sexy rugged stranger who takes her home because he lives nearby.

11%: FC tells sexy man her entire story and that she is pregnant. There’s a storm brewing so sexy man insists that she stay in his guest room.

13%: FC and sexy man fall into bed. He declares his love for her and tells her that he is ready and willing to love her and her baby.


All of that at the 13% of the book? Isn’t that a little quick? Where could the rest of the story possibly go?

I was curious enough to speed read through the rest of the 87% so I really can tell you where the rest of the story went:

Spiraling fast downhill until it crashed and burned.

  • No tense sensual build up between the characters.
  • No slow burn towards that first kiss.
  • No flirty moments between the two characters.

Nothing. Nada. Nein.

I’m not looking for the chaste vanilla of the Harlequin romance books my Granny devoured or the BDSM of Fifty Shades of Grey. There’s nothing wrong with themthey just aren’t my preference.

I can do without the 20 different words to describe the same body part and the blow-by-blow accounts of which body part went where and at what frequency…

I like my “romance” with just enough intensity between main characters that leaves me anticipating what will happen next between them. Romantic scenes that make me want to read and reread certain scenes before diving deeper into the book. Visualizing just how a scene would unfold in my mind.

Less is more.

And a little imagination is good for the soul…

All Rights Reserved ©2017 Marquessa Matthews.

62 thoughts on “Great Sex Requires Effort

  1. mandibelle16

    Yeah you need somewhere in the middle duke I agree. And definitely that build up and banter. On the hand there are some books that lead you on and nothing happens and I feel let down. I think if you build up you have to be willing to meet expectations too. Sometimes that means a dexriptive scene, other times it’s the way a writer says it just a few carefully chosen words and sentences. Both work depending on how adult the book is.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. …and this my dear, is why we’re all highly anticipating your novel! You have just the right amount of suspense and love that keeps a reader reading. I know you didn’t ask for suggestions, but you might want to check out a book by fellow blogger Whitney Cason called, Playing with Fire.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks so much Kathy! I’m such a procrastinator but this will be the year of at least a small collection of short fiction as a trial run at a “real” novel! Thanks for the suggestion – I will definitely look up Cason! 🙂

      Liked by 2 people

    2. Thanks for that Kathy! Yeah, I need to stop procrastinating but this is the year of at least getting a small collection of fiction published as a trial run before a “real” book! 🙂 I will definitely check out that recommendation!

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Yeah, there’s nothing like starting to read and realizing that its soo good that you stop, get something to drink and snack on and then settle in ’cause you know that you’ll be reading realllly slow and then rereading again!☺

      Liked by 1 person

  3. I’m in total agreement with you, Marquessa, and have been arguing this point for the last 3-4 years. The Romance genre has become ‘Romance-Lite’. Sex sells – I get that. But if you remove the sex from the story…and there’s nothing left except for two scenes where someone is kidnapped/drugged/shot/running away, and the ending, there’s a problem. Sex can be a part of the romance, but it isn’t THE romance…at least not for me.

    Instead of calling it Romance, why not start a new genre altogether – Erotica/Lust? At least readers would be better informed.

    And ’50 Shades’? More like 50 Ways to Annoy Me.

    *I’m always getting into trouble. Oh well. 😉

    Liked by 2 people

  4. tunisiajolyn84

    Wow they just jumped to the chase. lol Someone was impatient in their love life. hehe I agree with you. The subtle moments in life are sexier than the all out sex scenes a lot of times.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. This is really great and I feel like the way you describe you’re preference for romance in a novel is the same way I prefer romance in my life. Sure I am into a lot of kinky not so vanilla stuff but none of it would feel very good without the great intense bonding feeling I have for my significant other. The kink means nothing without the passion. Sure his touch lights me up instantly but it’s his gaze that really gets me going and puts me in that perfect place first. Also the conversation and mental connection mean a whole lot as well.
    Thanks for this piece of work, unlike 50 shades this was insightful and I really enjoyed reading this. 😊

    Liked by 1 person

  6. mandibelle16

    I think I like the essential Romance scenes described erotically but not too much if you know what I mean. But a good banter and relationship beyond physical is important a book of sex scene after sex scene gets dull. But a few good ones with a sense of humour is especially hard to find. Books that make me laugh few and hard to find. I llove that a rom/com but also a drama too. Build up is good between the couple and other stuff happening with other characters, friends or family, and their relationships romantic or other and pets. Love, drama, adventure and some mystery, some magic too or a bit of supernatural at times and real life written smartly in-between. I love literary references I am an English nerd and intelligent characters are hard to write but also compelling when I read a book where the author did a good job on this. I like almost everything lol. Or maybe I’m picky. I find good elements in many genres 😊

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I love a rom coms too. When it comes to books, my pet peeve is a romantic scene that starts off great and then BOOM! Suddenly terms like c**k, p***y, d**k and thrown in and takes away the entire flow. Maybe I’m just a prude. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Nah, you aren’t. I get what you mean! It’s like everything is going well and then suddenly someone pulls the carpet from under you and then its over. Or it’s like the carpet doesn’t even exist!
        Great post, totally agree and nice pun 😉

        Liked by 1 person

  7. The romance genre has gotten a bit raunchy lately. Although, I never thought romance novels had much of a plot line anyway…
    Maybe overly described sex scenes is their way to liven things up?
    But yea, that book escalated way too quickly.
    But I guess people like that kind of stuff because that’s what you typically see online and in bookstores.
    I have the same issue with African American lit. I struggle to find novels by contemporary black authors that isn’t sex or street.
    I kid you not, I walked into a black literary networking event one day, and the first book I saw was titled “Side N*gga.” I was done!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I know what you mean. I’m not into the ‘hood life books because they don’t resonate with me. The book I refered to was from a Black author who seemed to be following that “billionaire baby” storyline I see spilling all over Amazon…😝

      Liked by 1 person

  8. Pingback: Great Sex Requires Effort #sex #love #romance #weekendcoffeeshare — Simply Marquessa – Nona Day

  9. Pingback: Great Sex Requires Effort #sex #love #romance #weekendcoffeeshare — Simply Marquessa – MLST–MY LITTLE SIMPLE THOUGHT–THE WORDSMITH SCRIBE

  10. I totally agree with you. I love a good build up, but it got to keep going or it will flop big time. Also, I don’t like jumping from one sex scene to another so soon.
    Now, when I first started writing, someone made a big deal that I should label my novel erotic romance because there were sex scenes. The novel is more than just that, but she was working with me, and even after I ended things, I was sooo lost about what worked and what didn’t. Even with E.R. you still have to have a storyline, not just sex. Lately, I’m doing more rewrites and still working out the scenes. (Definitely not 50 Shades.) Thanks for sharing this post. It gave me a new and better perspective.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Sex in a story should be just like sex anywhere else – mysterious and unpredictable. So, from a writing perspective, just as in life, it should not be too choreographed or over explained. Let the reader’s imagination do most of the work.

    Liked by 1 person

  12. And here is something else … a bit off topic and not about sex, as such, but about love and the dangers of writing about it. It is a quote from Kurt Vonnegut, who I am quoting all the time. You may have already heard it ….

    “I try to keep deep love out of my stories because, once that particular subject comes up, it is almost impossible to talk about anything else. Readers don’t want to hear about anything else. They go gaga about love. If a lover in a story wins his true love, that’s the end of the tale, even if World War III is about to begin, and the sky is black with flying saucers.”

    Liked by 1 person

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