On January 22, 2022, my Dad died.
The night before he was cremated, I wrote him a letter.
A very long letter full of love, truths and gratitude that I had already said to him during his illness.
I wrote, wrote and wrote until the early morning hours until my hand was sore. I wanted to place that letter in his hands when I saw him for the very last time.
I needed for my words to forever become one with him and the other favorite items we planned on placing in his cremation container.
I was surprised at how the act of handwriting that letter to my Dad soothed my soul a little bit.
Since that day, I have been writing little handwritten notes to my Dad, here and there, whenever the mood strikes.
Sometimes I smile as I write to him with his smiling face is on my screensaver but most times, I just simply cry.
I’m stepping out of my hiatus to participate in this year’s A to Z Challenge.
My theme, “Letters to my Dad” will be based on random thoughts about him and the aftermath of not having him around anymore.
The “old” me would stress myself out pre-writing and scheduling posts this month so that I could kick back and read other participant posts during April.
But that is not going to happen this year.
I have no drive or energy for that kind of mental gymnastics. My plan is to simply pick a word on the fly and see where it goes.
Before I sign off, let me give credit to my blogger-friend Felicia Denise who provided inspiration on my theme. In Felicia’s 2021 A to Z Challenge on her blog Feliciadenise.com , she spoke about her own grieving and her posts struck a loud enough chord with me to remember.
I can’t promise you that I will make it all the way through to the end of April but I will surely try.
See you in April.