Bah humbug

On By MarquessaIn Blog

It’s December? Please tell me where the year went…

The holiday season is just around the corner and all I have to say is…

Truth be told, it’s been years since I have felt the Christmas spirit.

For me, Christmas was never about the presents, the traditional South American dishes that would grace the table and the chaotic cleaning that would take place until the wee hours of Christmas morning (as a kid, I thought it was all for Santa). Those things were all amazing (except the cleaning part of course) but it was simply the feeling of togetherness and slowing down as a family that I thoroughly enjoyed.

Some of my best memories are of simple things like watching the old school 1970s bubble lights on the tree for hours and hanging out in the kitchen chatting with my Dad as he made pepperpot and homemade bread (with extra sugar just for moi!). 

So yeah, naturally with this being the first Christmas without my Dad, I would like to skip the holiday season in its entirety.

All I want is to keep these times very, very quiet and low key.

Next year, maybe I’ll feel a little differently but if not, it is what it is and will be what it will be. 

Are YOU looking forward to the holidays? If so, what are some of your plans?

The last time I reached out, I said that I would share my short-term plans with you. I already slid a word to those who are subscribed to my (neglected) newsletter.

I’ve made a few decisions: 

  1. I can’t /won’t give up on my fiction writing. It has been my lifelong passion and even though I have come to terms with the fact that I may never “publish” a real novel or become a best-selling writer with my name in lights, I can still write for the simple fun of writing. My fingers have been feeling “itchy” so I don’t have much of a choice anyways.
  2. I plan on writing an interactive piece of fiction and posting it in my newsletter as one of my first projects of 2023. By “interactive”, I mean that newsletter readers will have a say on how unfold. The blog may get a few excerpts but not much more than that. These days I feel the need to keep things less public on the blog and more private via the newsletter.
  3. My blog will be a place for me to dump my random thoughts, share anecdotes and ask random questions to those who stumble across this little space of mine on the internet – a few posts a month when/if the mood strikes me so that I concentrate on writing fiction.
  4. Working on my self-care has become SUPER important to me and I want to find a way to somehow integrate that either into my blog, newsletter or by some other way. My idea is to hook up with others who want to exchange and support each other in prioritizing their self-care (beyond bubble baths and going for massages) in 2023. Yeah, I’m still thinking through how I could make this happen without creating top much work for myself.

So, what’s up with you? What decisions have you been making with 2023 looming ahead?

On that note, take care and until the next post!

Bisous,

Marquessa
https://marquessamatthews.com/

30 thoughts on “Bah humbug”

  1. “So, what’s up with you? What decisions have you been making with 2023 looming ahead?”

    I’m really just taking it fifteen minutes at a time. Whatever comes my way in 2023, I’ll try my best to be prepared for it. I’m still hunting for jobs in the writing industry, and I doubt that will let up until I land one.

    I have all intentions to be purposeful in my endeavors, loving to those who require it, understanding to those who need it, and embracing to those who deserve it.

    I just want to be at peace with my decisions and not regret any of them.

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    1. “I doubt that will let up until I land one” – I love your attitude and perseverence Sis. Having read your writings, you have talent on your side to reach your goal. Keep it going. And yes, peace and no regrets are also the ultimate goals.

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  2. Last Christmas was my 1st one without my Daddy so my heart goes out to you, Marquessa – I’m sending you big, warm hugs from Australia. The 1st’s when you’ve lost someone you love are absolutely devastating. Personally for me – it isn’t any easier this Christmas. I cried putting the tree up because I know how much Dad would have loved it. Every song right now makes me cry – even if it’s a love song and not related to losing my Dad at all – it sets me off. I hope you can be gentle with yourself this Christmas. Do what you have to do to get yourself through it and know I’m in your corner cheering you on.
    Also, keep writing!!! WRITE FOR YOU!!! It doesn’t have to be a New York Times Best Seller – it just needs to be something that makes YOU happy. I hope you will post some of your excerpts on here, I would love to read some of your fiction.

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    1. Big hugs right back at you Janet from Canada! I don’t always comment on your posts but I do read them all. I often lack the energy to do anything but simply scroll.

      When new chapters in our lives begin, nothing will ever be the same but we have to carry on right?

      Christmas (and everything else) is different and has shifted into something I am slowly trying to understand. Truth be told, I have yet to have the “Big Cry” that everyone has told me will come out of the blue and at the most unexpected time but I am looking forward to it. I really am. At least whenever I think of my Dad, I ALWAYS smile.

      And for the fiction writing, I am gearing up – one idea at a time. 🙂

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    1. (sorry wrong button pressed), I’m not celebrating this year. I went back to work too early, that was a bad decision, I dropped a clanger and was reported so I’m pretty fragile. The one person who would have understood and supported me through this is gone. I miss her too much to be happy about much.

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      1. If people can’t understand that grief can make you say things that you may not normally say, they lack empathy. I hope that you are in a position where you could take time offf work. If not, I hope that you are able to find small ways to “mentally” step back from the lack empathy while you work. It is hard when the person you could vent to is gone but I find some solace in knowing that my father is now like a guardian angel for me, doing what he can to smooth out the path in front of me and “handle” those who are being bothersome to me. If you would like to reach out offline, don’t hesitate to DM me on Instagram. Hugs.

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        1. You are lovely. I’m not losing sleep over it, although I stewed for 4 days and nights! I aplogised and reported it to my Department Head, he was great. He has been very good as his Father passed away 5 weeks before my Mum. 2022 has been horrible for so many people I know.

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    2. I am so sorry Jenny. My deepest condolences to you and your family. I won’t fool you, it is hard. Very hard. “Take things one day at a time” is the only “true” thing that people say when loved ones pass is. I hope you take the time it takes to process and grieve. Take care of yourself as best as you can. Hugs.

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  4. I join you in the Bah Humbug camp but just because I am basically bored with all the b-s that goes with celebrating a northern hemisphere pagan holiday marking the middle of winter (and usurped by the Christians) down here in the southern hemisphere in the middle of summer with not a drop of snow in sight. I love the joy it brings kids but for old farts like me, not so much.

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    1. I hear you. The focus on material things and presents dulled the glow of the season for me over the years. Kids who simply wanted money/gift cards instead of well-thought out presents was the beginning of getting me out of the spirit. For me, Christmas is a feeling but when so many around me don’t see it that way, well…

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      1. It makes me wonder about the feeling and spirit associated with Xmas. Being kind and generous to your family and friends? Why can’t that be any day or every day, why wait until the middle of December?

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        1. Being kind and generous any/every day of the year is what it should be. Another reason I haven’t given lots of gifts at Christmas is because if I come across something during the year someone will enjoy, I get it and give it to them right away. I don’t wait for a birthday or Christmas.

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  5. I’m trying hard to slow down in 2023. I feel live I’ve been on overdrive for the last…forever. I miss quiet time. Prioritizing relationships (friendships, in particular) is a goal, but also my relationship with myself.

    As for the holidays… I’m conflicted. I haven’t really been into it. I was too busy leading up to my wedding this past Saturday, and now I’m having trouble shifting gears. It’ll come, though. I hope!

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  6. You’re feeling bah humbug too, huh? I haven’t enjoyed Christmas for several years now, though I really try do get in the spirit every season. I’m just so sick of the commercialism. There’s so much to enjoy about Christmas, but when you reduce it down to “you HAVE to buy me something!” it really just sucks the fun out of it.

    Looking forward to your interactive story! This’ll force me to check my email more often than I do lol.

    I’m still indecisive about my plans for 2023, for my blog, for life, for my career. I tend to stress myself out when I look too far ahead, so I think I’ll do what Tre said in an earlier comment and take it 15 minutes at a time.

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  7. Pingback: Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays and all that other stuff – Marquessa

  8. This Christmas (season) wasn’t as exciting as seasons in the past. I get a general sense that many of us are tired and exhausted from the last few years, of which we haven’t processed all traumatic events we experienced on a global scale, much less each of our private situations.

    Apologies for such a lengthy answer, but I’ve been thinking about this for a while now.

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    1. I love lengthy answers, especially from you! The pandemic definitely has us all tired out in addition to all the discoveries/unpacking of familial situations and truths that came to the surface…I’m glad to see 2022 go and fingers crossed for a better 2023.🤞🏿

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