Stuck is where I am.

But truth be told, that’s where I have been for the longest time.

Nothing to do with the pandemic.

Nothing to do with my lack of oomph for fiction writing.

Nothing to do with my enhanced role as a caregiver.

It has everything to do with being half a century old now and fearing that I’ll die without discovering how close I could get to being the best version of myself for…me, myself and I.



Oh so stuck.

Tell me have you ever felt so stuck that you have no clue how to take action?


good writers re-read good books

Photo by Thought Catalog from Pexels

I was chatting the other day with a cousin, telling her about the storyline for “Like Water For Chocolate”, a book she had never read.

Having read the book soooo long ago, I was surprised at how much I remembered its’ themes and post-chat, I found myself perusing one of my bookcases.

Many moons ago, I gave away most of my books so now, I only have two bookcases but some shelves with double and even triple rows. One bookcase holds all the second hand books bought from library sales that I have yet to read and another bookcase contains all of my African American, Black, Caribbean and Latin American authors, many of which I had to special order from my local bookstore back in the day when “ethnic” books were few and far in bookstores.

Somewhere in my late twenties/early thirties, I promised myself to one day reread them all one day.

Right now, I’m thinking that my “one day” has come.

Due to the unpredictability of my current situation, I felt it best to drop out of my library’s monthly book club and let someone on the waiting list have my spot (truth be told, I haven’t been keen on the book selections) so this may be a good time to start my own me-myself-and-I book club.

They say that “good writers read good books” so maybe re-reading with a writer’s eye will help me with my goal of improving.

And I could begin with this one…

What do you think about rereading books on your shelves? And what book would you reread first?

state of flux

Being in a state of flux seems to be my new normal.

If cancer has ever hit your family, you know what I mean when I say that you are simply at its’ mercy.

I have learned that making no concrete plans is the only best plan and if truth be told, it’s not all that bad.

The not making plans part, I mean.

It’s forced me to be more present in the present instead of obsessing about future events I can’t control. I’ve learned to deal with things as they occur, good and bad, on the daily. And if I get one important thing done during my day, I call it a “successful” day.

I never thought I would become one of those “living in the moment” folks but here I am now…wondering how I transitioned into this mindset without realizing it.

Are you a “live in the moment” type of person?


Smells like September

As much as I am a summer girl, I do love fall.

Even more than the new year, September always gives me a sense of renewal and inspiration, as if brand new opportunities and fresh starts are ripe for the taking.

The crispness of the air, children gathered on street corners waiting for school buses, the smell of new stationary and pens…

When I was a kid, I looked forward to going back to school as it was a nice change from being home all summer with not much to do…

Funny enough, I don’t long to go back to those days but I’m not too keen on the ones I am having now either so I’ll take whatever good I can get. My only plan for the next few weeks is to get my newsletter sorted out after procrastinating for so long.

What will your September hold?

“When I’m Bad, I’m Better”


Like I said in my last post, creating some character profiles is on my list of to-dos.

I’m thinking that Ella would be a good character to tackle first.

What do you think? 🙂 

M xoxo

*REPOST – previous comments will appear*


It was dark and past 2am but I knew it was Jake from the way his jeans hugged the back of his ass.

Hot Jake.

He was just sitting there at the back exit of the club, straddling a big, powerful motorcycle between his legs and seeing him poised like that gave me vivid images of him between mine.

Sizzling hot Jake.

Illuminated by the glow of the street lamp, Jake was waiting for someone and that someone was definitely me.

Since I’d rescued him from that nasty beat down and I’d helped him mend, I hadn’t spoken to him or returned his texts. I knew that he’d been sniffing around the club a few times over the past few weeks, trying to bump into me but I purposely hadn’t given him the chance.

Sure, I’d seen him from backstage and the girls had been quick to tell me that he’d been asking about me. But I decided to let him simmer and stew. He could continue trying to chase me down until I was good and ready to be caught.

If Jake really wanted to see me, he’d find a way to come and get me. And as usual, I was right. Waiting for me to surface from the back exit after work was his way of making things happen.

Smart sizzling hot Jake.

Before Jake could notice me, I put my game face on, shook my hair out of its ponytail and just for the fun of it, I unbuttoned an extra button from my top to reveal a little extra skin. Then I walked right past him.


His thick deep voice immediately made my lady bits tingle and I knew that my plan to make him work for it wouldn’t last very long. I stopped, turned slowly and pretended to be surprised.

“Gabriella, where have you been hiding?”

“Hiding isn’t my style. I’m just a busy girl Jake.”

“Too busy to spare a few minutes of your time for me?”

Jake raked back on the bike and folded his arms, a smile spreading across his face.

“That all depends. Right now, I’m a busy girl who is very tired and needs to go to bed.”

As I started to walk away, Jake outstretched his hand and slowly held me back by the elbow. Of course, I let him stop me. I was looking forward to that smile being my downfall.

“Now that sounds like a good idea.”Jake’s voice oozed with heat and I couldn’t help but laugh. “Hop on and let me give you a ride. It’s too dark for you to be walking alone. This is not exactly the best of neighborhoods.”

“If you haven’t noticed, I can handle myself quite well Jake.”

I placed my hands on my hips and tilted my head to the side, knowing that my hair would fall seductively over the side of my face. It was a move that always succeeded in getting me what I wanted to have.

Jake’s eyes immediately slowly slid over the length of my body, down to the tips of my French manicured toes, back up to my ample cleavage and then rested on my mouth. When Jake ran his tongue over his lips, I knew that it was involuntary and exactly what he was thinking. I wanted to do the same.

“I’m more than capable of handling you Gabriella.”

Yummy, yum, yum. This man could definitely get me to…

“I’m not so sure about that. Only time will tell if I decide to give you the time of day.”

Jake shook his head and let go of my arm.

“You are bad girl Gabriella.”

“Well, when I’m good, I’m bad and when I’m bad, I’m better…”

“Is that what you say about yourself?”

Now it was turn to fold my arms and shake my head.

“No, but that’s what other people say about me. Life is so much more interesting when I’m bad”.

“So you’re refusing to take my ride?” Jake asked again. He was making me all sorts of hot and making me want some not-so-innocent fun.

“What type of ride are you offering me?” I asked, getting close enough to smell his cologne.

“Gabriella, I didn’t mean it like that,” Jake said, suddenly looking a little embarrassed that I had sexified his words. He shifted uncomfortably on the bike seat. “I was just joking around.”

I’m not joking.”

I let my bag fall to the ground and my fingers found themselves gathering up the oversized white shirt that hid my short skirt. I almost cracked up at his shocked expression as he stared down at what my fingers were doing. Before Jake could wrap his head around what was happening, I threw a leg over the bike and straddle it just like him. The only difference was that I made sure to face him so that we were up close and very personal. Face to face, bodies just inches apart.

I placed both of my palms on his chest to balance myself and inched my body a little closer, thinking how strong his muscles felt through his shirt. Then, I slipped my arms around his waist and crushed my chest against his.

Don’t look for what you thought you wanted to find… unless you know that you can handle it,” I purred into his ear. “But if this is the kind of ride you’re offering Jake, I’ll gladly take it…If you can handle me.”

(follow-up to “Naughty Girls Need Love Too.”)

Did you enjoy this little story? I hope that you did. As a writer who aspires to self-publish, building an email list of readers interested in my fiction is very, very important (at least, that’s what the experts say). If you enjoy my fiction, signing up for my monthly newsletter would support me tremendously. Feel free to sign up for MAILING LIST right here. M  xoxo

©2016-2017 Marquessa Matthews. All Rights Reserved.


World Building

Photo by iCapture Studios on

If I’m not “writing” right now, I figure that I can at least do some world and character building in the meanwhile.

I learned a few interesting tidbits while I was doing all that reading on “writing”… like how some authors worldbuild on Pinterest.

I have no interest in spreading myself out beyond my blog so my plan is to create a Page dedicated to a few of my characters with a few visuals and background snippets for each of them.

For example, the visual above is a good representation of a character that has been dancing in my head for years.

It will give me something easy to do while I am sitting around in hospital waiting rooms, right?

Stay tuned for that Page.

M xoxo