Back in the day and in my younger years, I would have felt angry, like situations when I used to purposely get passed over for opportunities that I should have been offered.

Those systemic barriers taught me to forget about being angry and to simply limit the use of my talents and expertise to what I was there to do. It also taught me decipher if my anger was really due to the missed opportunity or if it was related to being treated in such a shabby way while still being expected to go above and beyond what I was there to do.

It was all about the poor treatment and nothing to do with my peers or competitors.

I have never been one to compete with others. If anything, I compete against myself to see just how far I can stretch myself so even in current times when the odd “thing” happens, it doesn’t bother me.

I will congratulate, acknowledge what has happened, and focus on what I need to do.

When you see peers/competitors getting things you want, how do you react?

It hasn’t happened in a long time but I would recommend the following for a quicker cure:

First, wallow in your sadness and cry until you have no tears left.

Then, when you are sick of crying, get mad and do what Bernadette did in “Waiting To Exhale” (giphy above).

Wait…no.

Don’t that!

What I mean is just fantasize about burning all their stuff.

Instead, donate everything they ever gave you to charity or sell it.

Toss all pictures of them into the garbage (in these modern times, I guess you would delete them from your social media and phone).

Lastly, write a laundry list of every annoying thing you ever disliked about them so that when your mind wanders to supposedly better times, you can refresh your memory about why you are better off without them.

What’s your recipe for recuperating from extreme heartbreak?

My taste in music is too varied to just pick a personal antheme or a theme song. It also depends on what kind of mood I’m in.

But…

I’m always in the mood for old-school-type R&B or old easy-listening music.

It makes me miss the days when most song lyrics made sense, singers actually sang and the songs were totally “dance choreographable”, even if the lyrics weren’t great.

Songs that repeat the same lyric over and over again show no creativity.

Rapping is not singing.

And twerking is not dancing.

I said what I said. Sorry not sorry.

Here are a few songs that will show you my preferred style of music:

“Forever Valentine” – Charlie Wilson

“That Magic” – India Arie

“Back In Your Arms” – Jeffrey Osbourne

“When She Dances” – Joey Scarbury

What’s your personal anthem or theme song?

Remember back in the day when Brazilian waxes were a thing?

Let’s just say that the reaction of the woman in the above gif is on point.

I’m not going to go into detail but I will say that once was more than enough.

I would never never never try this again even if someone paid me.

What’s something you’ve tried, that you’ll never, ever try again?

I keep making the mistake of thinking about things that I can’t go back in time to change.

I am self-aware enough to know that doing this is useless but every so often, I do find myself repeating this over and over until I remind myself to think about other things.

Usually I’m successful and at other times, I’m not.

It’s just how things go right?

What’s one mistake you keep repeating (and repeating)?

I’ll be honest – I never have much in the fridge and when I do, it’s mainly a few breakfast and lunch type items from the freezer.

This is what is in my fridge right now…

In my younger days, I used to be an avid baker and cook.

Long before the dedicated food porn networks existed, my Saturdays were filled with PBS cooking shows with the likes of Jacques Pépin, Martin Yan, Jeff Smith . Then, I created my own versions of their recipes.

A blogger mentions the most popular ones in this post.

For years now, I buy groceries, drop them off at my folks and I have dinner with them, especially since we are part of the same pandemic “bubble”.

My father loves to cook so much that he’ll start asking what we want for the next night’s dinner before we have even eat that night’s dinner. It keeps him busy and gives him something to look forward to on the daily so I’m blessed.

What’s in your fridge, right this moment?

Hands down, I value free time.

Outside of a 9 to 5, I have so much on my plate 7 days a week that my brain never stops working.

Recognition for a job well done is nice but not absolutely necessary for me. If I do something well, the important thing is that I know it. I don’t like the limelight. But of course, if someone tries to take credit for something I did at 100%, that’s another story. With my lack of filters in my older age, I would have no problem publicly pulling out receipts.

And some of you clever readers will point out that money can buy time and that is very true.

But unless you are already wealthy or how found ways to make easy money, most of us have to work more to make more money, thereby having less time.

A vicious circle.

What do you value most: free time, recognition, or money?