unexpected

Image and quote found at https://www.therandomvibez.com/quotes-about-losing-a-loved-one/

A collapse.

Massive bleeding in the brain.

Unresponsive.

ICU.

Palliative care.

The decision by our overseas family that 24 to 48 hours will be enough time for loved ones and dear friends nearby to gather to say their goodbyes before the ventilator is turned off.

One 5 minute phone call changed everything, especially when it came unexpectedly in the middle of this Monday morning and you’re asked to break the horrible news to the person who will be the hardest hit on our side of the pond.

Well, this is what happened today and I’m still thinking, “Did this really happen? Am I dreaming?”

No, I’m not dreaming.

I won’t get into all the details but I will say this – when it comes to loved ones, no matter how busy you are, take the time and make the effort to spend quality time with them.

I’m glad that this has always been my approach with those around me near and far.

At least I can smile a bit and fondly remember the conversation I had with this relative just a few weeks ago where I was on the receiving end of all their advice for a certain situation.

The message behind this post?

Death is always a stark reminder that you never know when that last time will be so make it count.

M

5 things i like about myself in my forties

Photo by @INSTAGUILHERME on Pexels.com

Cyranny’s 5 More Things I Like About Myself, was such an interesting self-reflective exercise that I decided to give it a try. 

I totally agree with Cyranny when she said that it’s much easier to list things we don’t like about ourselves than the things we do. Without a moment’s hesitation, I could list off an arm’s length of ish about myself …

I’m tackling Cyranny’s mini-challenge with a twist of my own. I’m calling my post, “5 Things I Like About Myself In My 40s”.

Here we go!

  • I no longer care about looking foolish: Somewhere in my forties, I woke up one day and said, “F*ck it“. Like every time I go left instead of going right in dance class (a whole other post) … The younger me would have been embarrassed at messing up the choreography but instead the 40+ year old me will laugh and call it freestyling when the dance teacher looks annoyed. I just laugh and keep moving. I’m there to have a little fun, learn some new steps and burn extra calories. Dude, it’s not that serious so chill…

  • I’m soooo much better at saying “no”: When I used say “yes” to everything and everyone, I would get annoyed at being taken for granted. But you know what they say – “you teach people how to treat you” so it was all my fault. Now, I’m quick to think about how saying “yes” will affect my life and how that person would likely survive and thrive if I wasn’t around. “No, that’s not good for me” or “I wish that I could but I can’t” rolls off my tongue like a hot knife in butter. I’m still working on mastering the art of never offering the “why”, unless I feel it absolutely necessary. 

  • I’m more vigilant about guarding my time : A lot of my 20s and 30s were spent accomplishing things I didn’t really want,, listening to bad advice and being supportive to people who barely reciprocated. Not anymore. Those experiences taught me numerous life lessons and the time I have left on this earth will be more self-full. 

  • Eliminating negative narratives towards my “likeness”: I have gone from low tolerance to no tolerance in my 40s. Any kind of media that falsely denigrates women of my likeness or perpetuates that old unworthy, thirsty, ugly, angry woman stereotype gets muted FAST. I grew up not knowing better and allowing that toxicity to seep into my soul but no more. Zero patience and zero tolerance.  

And since Cyranny’s challenge must include one physical trait:

  • I have a nice smile: People often tell me that I have a kind smile but I never really gave it much thought. However, I have realized that the power of a smile has gotten me out of a number of sticky situations and has often gotten me things I’ve wanted.

So there you have it.

Those are my 5 things. If you are up for the challenge of posting your own 5 things, be sure to tag Cyranny’s original link.

Cheers!

M

strangely satisfying

I got curious about the spike in new followers (though I’m purposely not posting regularly) so I dived into my list and noticed a bunch of “greyed” out blogs that follow mine but that no longer exist.

I removed one, then two and quickly found myself scrolling through my entire list to delete all the other no-longer-existent blog follows.

Yeah, I said all.

Of course it was a waste of time but it was so strangely satisfying that I didn’t want to stop.

And since I had no mental energy left to do something more worthwhile, I deleted all the ones that were clearly spammy as well.

So my list of followers is considerably less but it doesn’t matter. Why keep them around if they aren’t “true”?

In a few months after I’m finished with my newsletter course, I’ll need to refocus on building my email list anyways so false inflated numbers don’t serve any purpose, right?

Have you ever sifted through your list and deleted followers?

happy anniversary to me

Wow!

I’ve been on WordPress for 5 years and what do I have to show for it?

Did I finally publish a book?

No.

Did I become some kind of popular blogger?

No.

Did I make money from blogging?

No.

But I’ll tell you what did happen during those 5 years that’s more important than all of the above:

I learned the basics about blogging and got comfortable with expressing my thoughts in this space…

I learned to stop talking about my love of writing to those who think it’s unimportant because it’s not worth the frustration…

I’ve made a number of AMAZING online friends that I never would have met if it weren’t for taking a chance on that first WordPress Writing 101 course…

YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE!

So happy anniversary to me and thanks for being the reason I keep sticking around.

Bisous,

M

 

 

what are you leaving behind?

It’s time for 2019 to leave and never come back.

Though I don’t blog as much and may not always comment, I know that 2019 has not been too kind to a number of you.

To be honest, the year hasn’t been the greatest for me either.

Bah hum bug.

Too much drama, work, unhealthiness, loss and sadness.

And certain changing landscapes of life that came too soon.

Yeah, your time is up 2019!

There are so many posts flying around social media about “What are you leaving behind in 2020?” and I like the idea of deciding what you don’t want to carry into a spanking brand new year.

Why is deciding what you don’t want easier than figuring out what you do want???

Off the top of my head, I have one thing at #1 on my list:

To leave behind my OCD-like habit of putting my oxygen mask on last to save everyone (including acquaintances) first.

That one item would have a huge ripple effect on EVERYTHING

I’ll suffer some guilt and a number of consequences but hopefully I’ll reap some benefits, like being able to breathe a little more deeply.

What is THE one thing you will leave behind in 2019?

What do you owe yourself in 2020?

I challenge YOU to write a quick post and drop it in the comment box OR simply comment here.

Let’s do this together! Go ahead and share this with your friends!

Here are a few links to get your brain juices flowing:
50 Bad Habits To Leave Behind In 2019 (easily applied to 2020)
In 2020, Let Go Of The Things That Hold You Back
20 Things To Let Go Of Before 2020