“Tuskeegee Chunk”

On December 18, 2022December 17, 2022 By MarquessaIn Fiction7 Comments

From the strong masculine knock at the door, I already knew who it was. For a split second, I considered pretending that I wasn’t back from the salon but I couldn’t do that.

Not to Jacob.

Never to Jacob.

What will he think when he sees me?

When Debbie had offered to transform me into a redhead for the holiday season by installing a long weave before my hair started to fall out, I had reluctantly agreed, going against my original plan of getting a pixie cut as a way to transition to shorter hair before attempting the next round of chemo. But since she had graciously offered to do it on the salon’s dime, I couldn’t refuse her kindness.

I steeled myself for Jacob’s reaction as I flung open the door. His eyes twinkled as he assessed my new look.

“Whoa! You went long instead of short? You look hot!”

Jacob had known about my plan to go short and had even offered to go with me but I had refused. He was a total sweetheart that had his heart on his sleeve and the woman who ended up with him would be one lucky girl. But if she turned out to be some kind of bitch, believe me, I would find a way to haunt her from my grave.

“Really? You like it?” I ran my hand gently through the lush locks, a little afraid that a small tug might make it all disengage.

“It’s sexy. Is it a wig?”

“No,” I shook the hair out to show him its flow. “It’s a weave.”

“Well, being a redhead suits you. Whatever it is, you better have it strapped on tight because I’m taking you for a ride.”

“A ride?”

“Yeah, a ride. Look…”

Jacob stepped out of the way and pointed at a shiny motorcycle sitting in my driveway. It was the kind of dream bike that he’d talked about buying if he beat his cancer. And now that he had been cleared, I was ecstatic to see that he had actually followed through. It was kind of funny how Jacob and I had quickly gone from being waiting room acquaintances at the hospital to good friends supporting each other in our respective fights against our mutual enemy.

“Oh my God! You actually bought it! Congrats! That’s an awesome way to celebrate!”

“Yes it is! I’m going to ride this bike everywhere. And I’m going to take you around with me. As soon as you’re feeling better and the weather turns, we’ll take a ride down to that Ben & Jerry’s Flavor Graveyard in Vermont that you always wanted to go to. But for now, grab your hat and coat so that I can take you for a quick spin.”

I grabbed my coat, pulled on my winter hat and quietly shut the front door. I headed down the stairs to join him as he dusted some snow sprinklings from the bike seat.

I couldn’t help but smile at how optimistic Jacob was for my future.

But I knew better and had chosen not to tell him about the truth that coursed through my fragile veins.

He didn’t need to know that his plans for us would never see the light of day.

The only graveyard Jacob and I would ever visit together would have nothing to do with Vermont.

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“No One In The World”

On December 17, 2022December 17, 2022 By MarquessaIn Fiction32 Comments

Brian was still on my mind.

I dropped my yoga gear onto the floor and slammed the front door behind me. I hadn’t been able to relax during yoga class after hanging up on Brian and now that I was home, all I wanted to do was order some greasy take-out and chill in front of the television. Without turning on the kitchen light, I washed my hands at the sink, opened the fridge and grabbed a bottle of soda.

“I thought you said that you are avoiding sugar from now on…”

Brian’s voice boomed from the corner of the room where he sat on my couch, looking totally annoyed. I surprised myself by not screaming out when I dropped the bottle directly onto my big toe. All 6 ft 4 of Brian rose up from from the couch and slowly approached me.

“What are you doing scaring me like that? How did you get in?”

As soon as I said it, I already knew the answer. He still had the emergency code to my door.

He remained silent as he stepped towards me. I outstretched my hand to stop him.

“You need to leave.”

Brian came even closer and then stopped a few feet away from me. I backed away to put more distance between us.

“No, I won’t leave. You hung up on me earlier and we weren’t done talking.”

I backed up to the door and opened it.

“There’s nothing more to talk about for now. I need space. We need space. Please just leave.”

But Brian didn’t budge.

“You can’t put all the blame on me for the other night. You were a willing participant. Instead of talking all of this out, why would you rather make this hard? You are making me crazy.”

“Brian, you made it very, very hard for me to think straight the other night. You just need to go, okay?”

A guilty look clouded his face but it quickly disappeared.

“Ok. Have it your way.”

Brian brushed past me and I moved away so that our bodies didn’t make contact. When the door slammed, I let out a loud exhale, finally feeling like I could breath deeply. Just the thought of the other night with him make my entire body hum. He had done things to me that made me blush just thinking about it.

I shook the sexy thoughts from my head and when I turned to lock the door, there Brian was, just standing there, watching me like he could eat me alive.

In one swift step, he narrowed the distance between us, took me in his arms and hovered his lips barely inches away from mine. I didn’t even have time to think about pushing him away. And even if I did, did I want to?

Brian and I stood there for the longest moment just inhaling each other’s breath. My eyes focused on lips, I felt myself propelling slowly forward towards him.

“There is no one in the world that I want more than you,” Brian whispered with expectant eyes. “If you blame me for the other night, then you’ll just have to forgive me twice.”

My brain couldn’t compute. “Twice?”

He pulled me even closer. “Yeah, for what I did that night and for what I want to do to you again right now.”

Oh, how I wanted to forget everything in that moment but I just couldn’t.

My body stiffened and I snapped out of my haze.

“No.”

The grin that had started to form at the corners of Brian’s mouth quickly turned into tensely set lips. Just as suddenly as he had taken me in his arms, he let me go and stepped away. Again, he had managed to leave me breathless.

“I truly hate you,” I said.

“Don’t worry, I hate you too.” Brian opened the door and didn’t look back at me. “And when you finally come to your senses, it may be to late.”

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“Ghost of You and Me”

On December 16, 2022January 2, 2023 By MarquessaIn Fiction6 Comments

I sensed her presence before I saw her. I looked up from my coffee and saw her walking across the street.

Through the coffee shop window, I watched her stop and send a text. It would have been so easy to get up, call out her name and jog across to her.

But I didn’t and I couldn’t. My ass was firmly glued to my chair and that is here it was going to stay.

“What’s wrong with you?” Brian’s voice broke into my thoughts when he noticed my coffee cup stuck in mid-air.

I pointed to where Starr stood. Brian’s mouth formed an “O” when he saw her.

“She’s back?”

“Obviously.” I took a long sip of my black coffee, becoming more and more irritated at how she appeared to be fine with the world. She never took a glance at the coffee shop where I sat – the coffee shop where we first met.

“Did she tell you that she was back?”

“No.”

“Aren’t you going to go talk to her?”

“No.”

I’d allowed this girl get into my brain and mess with my head. It wasn’t a good feeling and I couldn’t shake the hold she had on me.

Sometimes, just sometimes I wished I’d never met her.

Brian didn’t press the issue and we both continued to observe her in silence.

“How many times have you been in love?”

Without thinking, I said, “Twice.”

“Really? Twice?”

Starr smiled and slipped her cell into her purse and I watched as she walked away and out of sight.

“Yeah, twice. And both times it’s been with her.”

“San Juan”

On December 14, 2022December 13, 2022 By MarquessaIn Fiction29 Comments

A week from now, all of this would feel like a dream. Like it never happened.

The knot in my stomach ached at the thought of leaving. From the moment I had set foot out of the airport, it had felt like “home”.

I buried myself a little deeper into the lounge chair and stared out into the darkness. I was close enough to watch the white foamy crests of the waves as they lapped in time with their gentle whooshing onto the beach. The night sky was clear and filled with so many stars, something I rarely noticed at home among a sea of concrete high-rise buildings.

Was this the same sky or had I been magically transported into another dimension?

One more week.

The constant moistness of humidity on my skin, the left-over grittiness of sand buried between the crevices of my toes from my daily walk on the beach, the headiness of the salt air lingering in my chest that made me feel free and happy – I would miss it all. I had sat outside many evenings like this one, just curled up in a chair, enjoying the warm soothing breeze with some kind of cool drink in hand. And every night, the ocean never failed to wash away the day and grant me a fresh new one after I closed my eyes for the night.

Who in their right mind could ever get tired of all of this?

But tonight was a little different. I wasn’t on my own outdoor lounge chair. I was enjoying a better view from someone else’s rooftop.

I took a last sip of my mint tea, unfolded myself out of my chair and went over to lean against the railing. Was it past 9:00 pm already?

Time crept so slowly down here – I wasn’t sure of how long I had been staring up the stars. But what I did know was that I should have headed back to my place a long time ago, before I got myself into a situation I would probably not regret.

“Where did I leave my purse?” I muttered to myself and then my mind immediately went blank when I felt the warmth of his body behind me.

Alejandro.

His strong hands circled my waist and he nestled his lips into the oh-so sensitive spot of my neck. He had excused himself to take a phone call and from the dampness of his hair against my ear, he had obviously also taken a shower.

“Since you aren’t working tomorrow, you could stay here tonight…”

I smiled. I had to hand it to him, Alejandro was smooth.

I turned around, slow enough as to not lose contact, his chest just inches away from mine, his hands still around my waist. He smelled so clean and so fresh. I tried to make a mental note to ask him about the brand of shower gel he used but my mind wouldn’t connect the dots when I realized that the only things between us were my sundress and the bath towel wrapped loosely around his waist.

My lips could do nothing but smile as a wave of heat spread from the top of my head all the way down to my toes. His statement didn’t make me uncomfortable but being this close took me off guard enough for my mind to go completely blank.

Blank as in blankety blank blank.

The urge to run my hands through the wet curls that dripped onto his forehead was overwhelming but I managed to keep my hands to myself, totally uncertain as to where else they may glide if I reached out. He grinned even wider and I almost hated him for it.

Those dark eyes, that chiseled chest and such a wicked smile – I knew that he knew exactly what I was thinking.

“We could watch a movie. Listen to some music. Sit out here and watch the stars. Have a little late night dessert. Anything you want. Or I can take you back to your place. It’s up to you… Though you know what my preference would be.”

My mind searched for reasons to leave but the rest of my body refused to cooperate. From the deep well of excuses I was usually able to muster up, I was coming up dry though I was quickly becoming wetter than the ocean making music in the background.

How many other women had he graced with those words? And should I even care when I had T minus 7 to go?

I gathered my thoughts, pulled myself together as best as I could and leaned in close enough for my lips to brush against his ear.

I inhaled deeply, trying not to think of what would happen if that bath towel accidentally fell to the ground.

“Okay,” I whispered into his ear.

He tilted his head and frowned at me, clearly unsure as to what I meant.

Alejandro cupped my face within his hands, trying to read my eyes. “Okay, what sweetheart?”

“Okay,” I repeated, sliding my hands down his chest.

“Hate Floats”

On October 14, 2020October 4, 2020 By MarquessaIn Fiction33 Comments

I wonder how cold the water would be if I accidentally push her overboard…

Her gold scarf whips around her face in the wind as I watch her lean against the rail and peer down into the blackness of the water. She is completely hypnotized by the cresting white foam that trails alongside the ship as it barrels its way to the next port.

How much would it hurt when she hits the water? Would death be instant? Would her screams go unheard?

These aren’t supposed to be the thoughts of a formerly happy husband on a Christmas anniversary cruise vacation.

But they are.

I’m tired of her hollow commitments and the talk of “The Baby” to mask the lies she’s been spinning. I’m tired of working to exist and existing to work because she’s taken away everything worthwhile in my life and bled my bank accounts dry. Most of all, I’m tired of pretending that I can make things work with a baby she doesn’t realize that I know is not mine.

A man can only take so much of an evil woman but I still hate myself for having gruesome thoughts of her drowning in the middle of nowhere.

There are only four days before this cruise ends and we go home. Four more days before I tell her that this charade is over.

She turns to me with a blank expression as if she’s been reading my thoughts. Suddenly, four days feels like an eternity and I can’t hold myself back.

“I can’t do this anymore. We’re done,” I blurt out. “I can’t stand the sight of you.”

She says nothing for a minute and then says,“God knows I never meant to hurt you. I never meant to take it that far…”

But then a smile spreads across her thin red lips.

“Then again, maybe I haven’t taken it far enough,” she whispers.

She turns her back to me, takes a deep breath, throws a leg over the rail and vanishes into the dark.

I don’t move.

I can’t move.

What is happening?

All I remember is the ocean air taking hold of my wife’s gold scarf and gently placing it at my feet.

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“If They Take Dogs and Jews, They’ll Probably Take You…”

On October 12, 2020October 11, 2020 By MarquessaIn Fiction72 Comments

(Repost)

Inspired by true events…

Montreal, 1963.

“Sorry, we do have apartments for rent but we can’t risk having other tenants move out if you move in.”

I stood there with the baby sleeping in my arms while my other son peeked out from behind my skirt. He gave the middle-aged woman the same blank look that I was giving her. My husband was registering at the university so we were on our own to apartment hunt that day. It was cold and the excitement of witnessing my first snowfall was long gone.

This was the third visit we had made in response to For Rent ads and it would be the third time we were turned away. It hadn’t dawned on me to warn landlords that we were Black but I guess that I should have – it would have saved my time and my little one’s feet in this eye-opening cold.

Three times was not a charm.

Seeing the look of despair on my face, the woman tried to be helpful.

“Why don’t you try the building across the street, dear? They always have availability. If they take dogs and Jews, they’ll probably take you. Merry Christmas!”

And with that, the woman quietly shut her door.

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(Repost)

Inspired by true events…

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