The Things Women Go Through #truestory

In response to “Recreate A Single Day”

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Photo credit: San Diego Shooter / Foter / CC BY-NC-ND

When I felt his eyes on me, I immediately regretted having pushed my to-do list late into the evening hours.

With the change of seasons, it was already getting darker faster and in the badly-lit and bare parking lot, this dude was totally creeping me out. I hustled into the entrance of the hardware store as quickly as I could.

I’m usually aware of my surroundings so that’s how I noticed him almost right away. He had been staring at me as he had approached his car with one lonely bag in his hand. He had popped his trunk, thrown the bag into it and then continued staring. What creeped me out was the “something” in his eyes that I could see through the darkness. It gave me a sick ache in the pit of my stomach.

I was even more creeped out when he slammed his trunk and I realized that he was following behind me.

Strange how your brain processes information really fast when it needs to.

Why is he going back into the store when he just came from there? Is he following me? No, relax and stop being paranoid!

I joined the returns line near the main entrance and waited for what felt like an eternity before nonchalantly turning around to see where he had gone. Our eyes immediately made four. He was about 3 customers away from me in the same line.

What the f***? He’s got nothing in his hands to return…

For the first time in my life, I was glad that it was a long line. It gave me time to think.

Did I tell anyone about my errands and where I was going tonight? Should I call my brother and tell him where I am in case something were to happen? No, that might freak him out.

If I leave the line now, Weird Dude knows where I parked and could simply follow me back to my car…or even home. No, you can’t go straight back to your car.

It was my turn at the cashier. I handed her my bill and credit card and all the while, my thoughts were elsewhere. I looked back. Now, there were about four customers behind him.

As I placed my credit card back into my wallet, I played it cool and walked through the turnstile into the main part of the store. Stopping at the first aisle, I turned around to see that he was unsuccessfully trying to get himself out of the line, first from the back and then from the front. Other customers were getting annoyed with him trying to jostle past them.

I need to lose him. If I walk along the back aisles of the store, it would be easier to do it.

But as I did, I realized that with only one set of exit doors, he could be waiting there or even near my car. I immediately regretted wasting time and not going back directly to my car in the first place.

I called a friend who stayed on the line with me as we tried to decide on my next move.

And that’s when I decided to act like a creep myself.

I shadowed a man and his young son who was enjoying a lollipop headed in the same direction as my car. Fortunately, the man didn’t realize that I was invading their personal space but I was close enough for the child to eye me suspiciously as if I was about to steal the lollipop out of his hand.

Sorry kid, I’d rather be safe than sorry.

©2017 Marquessa Matthews. All Rights Reserved.

Originally posted on September 24, 2015

If you liked this piece and want to see more like it, please click on “Like” and/or “Comment” below and share with others who would also enjoy it. You can also sign up for my mailing list here to get the latest news from me. 

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“Are You Ready For Me To Speak?” | Snap Judgment #TryPod

There is one word that describes this 10 minute anecdote – RIVETING.

I actually stopped what I was doing, sat down to give it 100% of my attention because I was afraid of how her story would end.

I love Snap Judgment and as part of this March’s Podcast Awareness Month, why not check it out! You could also check out the other podcasts I listed in this Maybe You Like To Watch But I Prefer to Listen and Get Your Freak On .

Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I have no copyrights to the song and/or video and/or hyperlinks to songs and/or videos and/or gifs above. No copyright infringement intended.

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#ShowcaseSunday: Trump Showed me America’s True Colours | Alexis Chateau @alexischateau_

More than thought-provoking. Please visit and comment directly on the blogger’s original post below.

Marquessa


This year, red is very telling.

Source: Trump Showed me America’s True Colours – Alexis Chateau

Lessons Your Parents May Not Have Taught You #black #racism #race

Excellence is the best deterrent to racism…

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https://pixabay.com/en/girl-child-black-african-486950/

As children, our parents taught us a number of life lessons at a very young age. Whenever we would gather around the dinner table, they would regale us with stories of their upbringing, childhood and their day at work and in return, we would share all the details of what had happened during our school day.

But being raised by vigilant parents, oftentimes those dinnertime conversations would be sprinkled with “lessons about life” that were important for us to know as First Generation children of immigrants growing up Black in a mainly White and French speaking environment – an environment where being “outside the norm” wasn’t always well-received.

These “lessons” were rooted in real-life incidents experienced by those in our small circle of family, friends and friends of friends.

Growing up, your parents taught you lessons too.

But different teachers provide their students with different content material based on the classes they took in the school of life:

  • When stopped by the police (not “if” you are stopped by the police), keep your hands visible on the wheel and do exactly what you are told. Shooting first and asking questions later are the rules of the game. Dead men tell no tales and when you’re dead, only one side of the story will be told and it won’t be yours. Remember that…
  • When you’re in a store, never put your hands in your pockets and avoid opening your purse until you’re in front of the cashier. The ones that hate you because of your color will not give you the benefit of the doubt and will be quick to treat you as a thief. Remember that…
  • Excellence is the best deterrent to racism. Be kind to all, get your education, keep your eye on the prize and secure your future. Racists assume that you are nothing, come from nothing and know nothing. Surprise them by being “someone”, coming from “something” and knowing that you are capable of greatness. They will have to find another way to try to break you and your spirit. You won’t let them because you’ll know better. Remember that…
  • Think carefully about your actions and how you approach certain situations. What is perceived as “a pass” for someone else will likely be seen as a “crime” if you’re in the same situation. Remember that ; and
  • When you see your friends doing wrong, walk away. Because if the authorities are called, you will be the first one they haul away – no questions asked. Remember that…

Those are a just a handful of life lessons I learned being in the skin I’m in.

©2017 Marquessa Matthews. All Rights Reserved.

Originally posted July 8, 2016

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#ShowcaseSunday: Fearfully Made – The Light Breaks Through #black #race @revheadpin

Absolutely wonderful and thought-provoking piece by Keith Haney!  Please be sure to visit and comment directly on Keith’s original post below.


Growing up black in America comes with a healthy dose of fear….

Source: Fearfully Made – The Light Breaks Through

“If They Take Dogs and Jews, They’ll Probably Take You…” #racism #black

It hadn’t dawned on me to warn landlords that we were Black but I guess that I should have…

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https://pixabay.com/en/stop-enough-it-is-enough-policy-1001080/

Inspired by a true event…

Montreal, 1963.

“Sorry, we do have apartments for rent but we can’t risk having other tenants move out if you move in.”

I stood there with the baby sleeping in my arms while my other son peeked out from behind my skirt. He gave the middle-aged woman the same blank look that I was giving her. My husband was registering at the university so we were on our own to apartment hunt that day.

This was the third visit we had made in response to For Rent ads and it would be the third time we were turned away. It hadn’t dawned on me to warn landlords that we were Black but I guess that I should have – it would have saved my time and my little one’s feet.

Three times was not a charm.

Seeing the look of despair on my face, she tried to be helpful.

“Why don’t you try the building across the street, dear? They always have availability. If they take dogs and Jews, they’ll probably take you.”

And with that, the woman quietly shut her door.

©2017 Marquessa Matthews. All Rights Reserved.

Originally posted February 28, 2016

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#Showcase Sunday: “My Black Son’s Heritage” | Anne Marie Aikins @femwriter #black #race

 

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https://pixabay.com/en/black-history-freedmen-s-bureau-1134166/

As I was going through my paper decluttering process as part of my 52 Things In 52 Weeks challenge, I came across a folder of old magazine clippings I had kept aside because they were well written and thought-provoking.

The one you see below is from a Maclean’s magazine in 2001 (yes, 2001) and is share-worthy. It may be “old” but much of it is still quite relevant today.

Like I said in a previous post, I find that lessons about race that sometimes have the most impact can come from those not in brown or black skin.

Note: This is a scan of that article. I’m posting it with the permission of Ms. Anne Marie Aikins – @femwriter

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