#1 – Treat People The Way They Treat You… #2019 #selfcare #lesstress

Treating others the way you would like to be treated doesn’t always work.

Yes, it sounds a bit petty but sometimes, just sometimes, I think you need to treat people the way they treat you.

And that’s exactly what I have started doing to avoid feeling upset and keep my sanity.

Like stopping the calls to that friend who never calls just to say hello but always calls when they need something…

Or not picking up the phone when the out-of-town cousin (you know, the one who thinks your place is a hotel with free room service whenever he is in town) but who is always “conveniently unreachable” when you are in his neck of the woods.

I’m realizing that when I mirror other people’s selfish behaviour, they don’t like it one bit.

And that amazes me…

To me, self-care includes protecting myself from unnecessary stress.

Has this mirror technique ever worked for you?

Disclaimer: I have no copyrights to the song and/or video and/or hyperlinks to songs and/or videos and/or gifs above. No copyright infringement intended.

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Time Does Not Heal All Wounds…

Time doesn’t heal all wounds.

Time just allows you the opportunity to learn how to deal with them.

I reposted “Ripple Effect from 2017 because I believe that it fits into “current events” that I will not delve into here.

But I will ask questions to which I do not have the answers…

Why is it so difficult for some people to understand that keeping quiet about traumatic experiences does not mean that the events never happened or that they were a figment of someone’s imagination?

At what point in time does someone’s truth become a lie simply because they did not disclose their experience soon after it initially happened? Is it one week, one month or one year? Maybe five years or ten years?

And tell me, why is it hard for some to comprehend that sometimes keeping silent is the only way to avoid being re-victimized with:

‘Well, what were you wearing?”

Why were you there in the first place?

Why did you let it happen?

If it was really that bad, why didn’t you say something before?’

It shouldn’t be a struggle to understand that sometimes keeping quiet is a choice – a choice between two evils, neither of which has a statute of limitations on the soul.

You can read my “Ripple Effect” here.

M

 

 

How Long Have You Gone Without Doing It?

Photo credit: agahran via Foter.com / CC BY

(Updated repost)

Actually, I’m totally not blogging this…

For years, I posted daily and even had a blogging schedule.

Those days are gone.

Right now I’m just going with the flow.

Whatever.

Whenever.

Random.

Not-so-random revamped posts.

I’m no longer obsessed with having a blogging “streak”.

What’s the longest you’ve gone without writing creatively or blogging?

M  xoxo

 

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Döstädning

Yeah, this is not the first time that I’ve written about my weird quirk.

Actually, it’s my third preferred choice for relieving stress, calming my nerves and lifting my spirits.

What quirk is that, you ask?

Decluttering , organizing and cleaning.

But for the first time ever, I have taken my cleaning to the extreme – like “döstädning” extreme. 

No, I’m not dying. Well, all of us are but we could talk about that another day. For now, if you don’t know what that word means, I invite you to Google the numerous articles online.

Döstädning may sound depressing but there is something positive to be said about detoxing your living and work spaces. This act of deep decluttering and only hanging on to what you need, find useful and love may not be “creative” work, but at least I feel like I’m accomplishing something tangible without using too much brain power.

Right now and yes, after midnight, I’m sitting on my kitchen floor, boxing up tupperware and mini appliances unused for years to donate to a shelter.

Call me crazy but it’s been helping my stress levels since I’m not writing much. I’m just wondering what I’m going do to when I have nothing left to clean. Maybe I’ll have to drop by your place to organize your stuff! 😊

I was thinking about going silent for the summer while I try to regain “balance” but instead, I’m going to do what I did last summer – random posts and reblogs on ANYTHING. No blog plan, no weekly features. Just whatever comes to mind that takes a few minutes.

Stay tuned.

Happy Canada Day and Independence Day in advance!

M xoxo

Cleaning is my third choice. What is your FIRST choice activity when you are feeling stressed and overwhelmed? And yes, you can be a little risqué in the comments. 🙂

If you are new to my blog and enjoy fiction, feel free to check out my Fiction tab or Breaking The Mirror or Living To Die.

Pain And Darkness

Another day, another suicide in headline news.

You never know what pain and suffering are within someone’s soul, especially when they are always smiling.

You never know what dark thoughts are lurking in someone’s mind.

If darkness is overshadowing your thoughts, PLEASE SEEK HELP.

No matter the cost, the time involved, or what you think others may think (don’t you dare care about that), seek help.

There is only one of YOU in this world and YOU are important.

You are wanted and needed in this world.

YOU MATTER

M xoxo

30 Things You Can Still Do Before 2018 Part 2 #newyear #2018 #resolutions

Where did 2017 go?

In 2018, I need to stop treating my writing as a hobby and find more time to dedicate to it. On December 1, I started plowing through a list of 30 things to do before 2018 that will simplify and streamline my day-to-day life in the new year. Some were quick easy hits while others took a little more time but most are already completed and I’m feeling great!

I’m sharing them with you and hopefully you will find some value in it!

For items 1 to 15, you can check out my guest post today on Simon’s wonderful blog at “Planet Simon“. Please drop by and tell Simon hey!💜

16. Photos of important information: With the first snow fall of every year, I never remember how to operate my snowblower. So I took a photo of the instructions and during the recent snowstorm, I wasn’t cursing under my breath as I usually do. I also took a photo of my bank’s operating hours so that I no longer feel like an idiot rushing there to find that it closed five minutes before.

17. Declutter and deep clean the house: I went crazy mid-November and ditched NaNoWriMo to do this. Yup, I gave up on NaNo for cleaning. It started out as an innocent one day flirt but quickly turned into a hot and messy full-fledged two week affair. Oh, but it felt soooo good! My living space hasn’t felt that zen and “light” since I had the flood. Do yourself a favour and get rid of what you don’t need or use.

18. Make a list all the annoying things (not people) in your living environment: That bookshelf to install, the sticky closet door, the clothes for the shelter that you never dropped off…I took an afternoon, did what I could and will enlist a “handyman” for the more complicated tasks I can’t do myself.

19. Prepare for tax season: Every March, I stress about getting receipts and bills together. I bit the bullet, gathered the receipts I had and already placed them into a special folder. I’ll gather up the rest at the end of January and get cracking on it.

20. Schedule all medical appointments for 2018: Family doctor, dentist, optometrist, gynecologist…I even scheduled a few on the same day, morning and afternoon, to maximize my journey into the city (which is a nightmare due to ongoing construction).

21. Do something nice for yourself once a month: Get out your calendar and pencil something nice in. A relaxing massage, a mani-pedi treat…It doesn’t have to cost much. Wander around a bookstore for an afternoon, go for a walk in a local area you’ve never been before, buy a coffee and people watch through the window and scribble down story ideas. Whatever you do, keep the appointment with yourself.

22. Clean out fridge and pantry for expired products: Make it a fresh start and throw them all out. But please do not donate expired items to food banks – buy new goods for a shelter.

23. Double up on gifts: Leverage time and the holiday sales by getting birthday gifts for loved ones now. No fuss, no muss, no future last minutr stress. I used to do this and have just started doing this again. I will definitely not regret it.

24. Purchase greeting cards for the next 365 days: Birthday, Valentine, Easter, Christmas, anniversary…You have to buy them anyway so why not buy them all at once? For me, the selection of English cards with words I like (I won’t buy if the words don’t match the person I’m buying for) is limited so I’ve started buying mine whenever I see bigger and better selections elsewhere.

25. Buy home or tenant insurance: With all of the unlucky and unfortunate things that could happen, it’s better to be safe than sorry. While you’re at it, think about identity theft insurance if it’s reasonably priced.

26. Switch to LED bulbs: I have not changed my living habits and have seen a noticeable drop in my electricity bill since I did this a few months ago. That extra money is better in my pocket than with the electric company.

27. Set your 2018 goals: Not happy with your 2017 accomplishments? No time like the present to set your goals for 2018. My 2018 goals list is still a work in progress.

28. Create a playlist of your songs. A playlist for when you’re feeling happy, a playlist for when you need to concentrate and another for when you feel like crap and want to throw yourself a pity party (don’t worry, we all do it).

29. Start one tiny habit now. Like drinking an extra glass of water a day, making your bed every morning, getting up an hour earlier every day. I started the habit of NOT checking my cell while still in bed.

30. Make a “not to do list’ for 2018: I could write a book for this one but at the top of my list is to make “no” a full sentence and refrain from providing a follow-up explanation. I often find myself doing this with people who never do this with me but yet they have the nerve to ask me “Why?” Time to flip the script.

So that was my list of my 30 things to do before 2018…

What’s on your pre-2018 list?

M xoxo

#TBT – Top Ten Things I Learned Before I Was 10 (And Then Spent Years Unlearning)

 

Repost from September 2015: This was in response to Day #2 prompt, Write A List, for a WP assignment – I took a slightly different angle. In the future, I may write a post for each one of these points.

A List of the Top Ten Things I Learned Before I Was 10 (And Then Spent Years Unlearning):

1. You can’t be smart and pretty at the same time – make a choice and move on;
2. Only blond-haired blue-eyed girls are pretty;
3. Everyone else’s feelings are more important than yours;
4. When you share your passion for something and you’re laughed at for it, don’t ever “share” again;
5. You’re a geek if you enjoy reading lots of books or prefer books to “hanging out” doing nothing with people;
6. If someone has negative things to say about you, believe them because it must be true;
7. When your instincts tell you that a situation doesn’t feel right, keep it to yourself;
8. Do what is expected and you will eventually learn to live with it;
9. Crying is a sign of total weakness that gets you nowhere – just suck it up; and
10. If you do the same thing over and over again, maybe you’ll get a different result.

What were some of the “truths” you “unlearned” as an adult?

©2015 Marquessa Matthews. All Rights Reserved.

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