What Makes A Man Sexier

This is a continuation of Cute, Handsome or Sexy.

What is a “sexy” man?

Of course, we each have our own definition and it can be quite subjective.

But I’ll tell you what makes a “sexy” man even sexier IMHO.

He’s a man who:

  • can hold an intelligent conversation about current events or discuss the latest book he’s read (extra points if it is an actual physical book which means he’s a little old school);

  • is confident in his talents and abilities (not to be mistaken with arrogance);

  • has a sense of humor, maybe just a little geeky (like Bruno from “Lord of the Files“) and can laugh at himself or is a little self-effacing (but just not as geeky as this guy below);

  • makes use of “please”, “thank you” and knows what “manners” means;

  • remembers the small and subtle details about things and more importantly, small details about YOU;
  • walks the walk, talks the talk, says what he means, means what he says…

You get the picture.

I don’t know about you but for me, substance in a man is sexy and there has to be some real steak behind any sizzle he may have.

Sizzle. Steak. Substance. Sexy.

Oh…I’m not saying that I’d ignore a little stubble and a great smile, nor would I throw this guy out for getting crumbs in the bed…

Uh, definitely no.

What I am saying is that “sexy” is much more than just the superficial. Sexy is in the eye of the beholder.

What do you say? What do you find “sexy”?

All Rights Reserved ©2017 Marquessa Matthews

Disclaimer: I have no copyrights to the song and/or video and/or hyperlinks to songs and/or videos and/or gifs above. No copyright infringement intended.

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Cute, Handsome or Sexy

I was scrolling through some of my old posts and came across a #ManCrushMonday post from when I was trying out some Twitter trend tags, hence the idea for today’s post…

Years ago, I worked at a popular establishment that had hundreds of clients coming through the doors every day. It was crazy busy, always fun and the entire staff got along famously. As part of the “brand”, we couldn’t use our real names so I decided to call myself “Midnight” for the summer. Truth be told, it was kind of cool to be recognized by that name off-the-clock when I least expected it.

And NO, it wasn’t that kind of establishment so get your head out of the gutter – it had to do with gaming!

But I digress…

I often worked the same shift as Jean*, a guy who could have been a model for a cologne commercial. Actually, Jean was a working model/actor/aspiring singer with the typical chiseled face, high cheekbones and shoulder length hair that was popular back then. Jean was a sweetheart of a guy and it was always amusing to see how many female clients would do a double-take at him, especially when he would practice his “model moves” with me like the one above (with his shirt “on” of course).

Because it was always so busy, Jean would often play the “cute, handsome or sexy” game with me to see if we had the same taste in men. Whenever a man he found interesting walked in, Jean would say “cute, handsome or sexy” to me and tell me his “rating”. Then I would either agree or disagree.

Looking back, I can see how politically incorrect this was but since it was Jean’s game, don’t frown at me

We always agreed on the “cute” and “handsome”, but it was clear that his “sexy” and my “sexy” differed and that led us into a number of conversation.

For Jean, it was all based on a guy’s looks while for me, “sexy” was more than looks – “sexy” included a man’s attitude, intelligence, confidence and how he carried himself.

I mean, a man can be “sexy” without being cute or gorgeous – he could be your average-looking man with a je ne sais pas quoi about him like, for example, Javier Bardem. He’s not my cup of tea but he’s got something going for him. Then again, it could be his accent too…

 

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I can already see this post is going long so I’ll stop here with this question:

What do you think? Can someone be sexy without necessarily being hot, cute or attractive?

And if so, could you name a celebrity who would fit that bill?

*not his real name

All Rights Reserved ©2017 Marquessa Matthews

Disclaimer: I have no copyrights to the song and/or video and/or hyperlinks to songs and/or videos and/or gifs above. No copyright infringement intended.

 

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No Strokes For Different Folks #microaggressions 

This is clearly not me…taken from and credit to: https://giphy.com/gifs/hannahbronfman-hannah-bronfman-3og0IAsEcf8EfYAAUw

I’m rolling my eyes at the fact that I felt the need to write this this “disclaimer” as an intro…

This post is NOT intended to call anyone “ignorant”. It’s to raise awareness about how uncomfortable people can feel when seemingly harmless things are said and done to them, oftentimes by people who don’t mean any harm and don’t realize how their actions are being received.

But when we know better, we do better right?

That is the objective of this post.

Hopefully that was clear because I’m climbing onto my soapbox now…

This could have been included in yesterday’s “Pet Peeves” but I felt that it deserved its own post. 

In my “Life of Pie” – 12 Totally Random Things You Never Needed To Know About Me” post, I told you that sometimes people I barely know have gotten into my personal space and have touched my “_____”, taking me off guard before I could even react.

In that post, I purposely left it blank so that you could guess. Some of you guessed right and some of you guessed …not right.

Well, as luck would have it, someone who knew exactly what I was referring to in that post forwarded me a real-life example of my #12.

Take a look:

Disclaimer: I have no copyrights to the song and/or video and/or hyperlinks to songs and/or videos and/or gifs above. No copyright infringement intended.

I cringed the moment I saw that outstretched hand…

It boggles my mind why some people think that it’s “okay” to cross that personal boundary, physically touch someone they may barely know and even sometimes go so far as to glide their hands over another person.

How would those same individuals like it if someone they barely knew stroked them?

I don’t care if the gesture is meant to be a compliment – do not touch me without my permission.

I repeat – I. Do. Not. Care. No. Touching.

Yes, that woman looks amazing at 53. And I’ll even let that co-host’s words slide this time (because it’s an entirely different conversation).

But the touching?

Uhhhh…no, no, no.

There are no ifs, ands or buts about it. Don’t do it. Not everyone will be as polite as the woman in this video. Recoiling like a snake while giving you my “subway” face has been my go-to move for years now because it’s been much more effective than being “polite” by pretending to be okay with it.

Oh…the stories I could share with you but I won’t.

As food for thought, I’m leaving you with a link to “21 Racial Microaggressions You Hear On A Daily Basis“. If you don’t have time to read, the photos speak volumes.

Microaggressions are not limited to “race”. There are many that abound related to gender and sexuality too…

Okay, I’m climbing off my soapbox now. My rant is over. 🙂

All Rights Reserved ©2017 Marquessa Matthews

 

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My “Pet Peeves” #blogging # writing #writer

Photo credit: anyjazz65 via Foter.com / CC BY

Like I said in “All I Ask“, I’ll be answering some of the questions you’ve asked me from time to time…this is question #1.

And today, I have an excuse to vent a few of my pet peeves. You can blame Julie from Facets of a Muse who nominated me for an “award” a while back. And though my blog is an award free zone, I decided that I would answer one of the 11 questions – the one about my pet peeves. I invite you to check out Julie’s latest post here.

Okay so in no specific order, here are random things that peeve me. You can judge me silently…

  • People who use their speakerphones or have Facetime conversations in waiting rooms (especially at the hospital) to pass the time. Have they forgotten that they are NOT within the four walls of their home and that no one else is interested in being part of their conversation? Just leave the waiting area and go outside!

  • Do not call and tell me that you have “something really important to tell me but I’ll you later“. How about you say NOTHING until you can really tell me later? If your intention is to freak me out until you do tell me, you will have succeeded. And the next time I see you in person, you will be cruisin’ for a brusin’ if it turns out to not be serious.

  • Being the only one in a washroom with a bunch of empty stalls and someone decides to occupy the one right next to mine. Really? Are you kidding me?

  • A waiter, chef or anyone else handling my food with a beard long enough to require a rubber band or its own postal code (zipcode for the Americans out there). BTW, I have no clue who this guy is…he just has the perfect rubber band for my example;

  • Hair in the bathtub, sink or on the soap…GROSS. Wash it down the drain, pick it off the soap, I don’t care what you do – just get rid of it please!

  • Why is it that the “pants on the ground” style is still around? I don’t need to see your knock off brand-named underwear and though I may have a slight aversion to “skinny” pants, I’ll take that over stupid pants any day.

  • Being on hold for FOREVER with your doctor’s office/airline company/service provider/etc only to get cut off as soon as an agent picks up;

  • A “man bun” if you don’t have the swagger to pull it off or the additional “accessories” to distract me away from the said bun because my eyes are glued somewhere else.  I may give you a pass if you’re an older surfer dude like my Galen character in “Living To Die”. 

There are plenty of others but those are just a few of the pet peeves that came to me.

What are some of yours?

I promise not to judge…well, at least not out loud. 🙂

All Rights Reserved ©2017 Marquessa Matthews

Disclaimer: I have no copyrights to the song and/or video and/or hyperlinks to songs and/or videos and/or gifs above. No copyright infringement intended.

 

 

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Watching You, Watch Me #amwriting #blogging

Photo credit: Digiart2001 | jason.kuffer via Foter.com / CC BY-SA

Creepy would always sit across from me, licking his lips and staring unrelentingly at me for the entire bus ride home.

For the first few weeks, I averted my eyes, assuming that maybe he was mentally unbalanced or thought that I was kind of cute. All I knew was that each and every time I glanced up from my book or my Zune, he would be staring at me.

But the day I noticed a small stupid grin on his face, my gut knew that it had nothing to do with an illness and everything to do with leering like an asshole just to unnerve me, probably for sport.

Messing with me after a long day of work and when I’m hungry is never a wise move…

Two words? Mirror technique.

Two more words? Straight face.

Yeah, keeping a straight face while fighting fire with fire was going to be my problem. Or in my case, it was fighting “licking with licking” and “staring with staring”…

When the next bus ride rolled around, Creepy stared but I didn’t look away. I stared right back and he was taken by surprise…

When Creepy licked his lips, I licked mine right back at him…

When Creepy’s eyes rolled over my body and breasts, mine rolled over his body and then stayed glued to his crotch…

For the entire bus ride.

As I stared, I kept shaking my head as if I felt sorry for his lack of…well, you know.

Never once during that bus ride did I look up at his face. But after that day, Creepy never sat across from me again.

That incident happened a very long time ago and it didn’t crossed my mind until a few days ago when I saw Creepy at a gas station. From the look on his face, it was clear that he remembered me. I found myself staring at his crotch again as I remembered that last incident and Creepy looked highly uncomfortable.

And when maliciousness overwhelmed me, I gave him a huge wave. He couldn’t get back into his car fast enough.

I guess Creepy didn’t want to explain to the woman in the car where he knew me from.

Morale of the story?  Staring at a woman in close proximity to you is not seductive, it’s just creepy.

All Rights Reserved ©2017 Marquessa Matthews.

Disclaimer: I have no copyrights to the song and/or video and/or hyperlinks to songs and/or videos and/or gifs above. No copyright infringement intended.

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#TBT – Top Ten Things I Learned Before I Was 10 (And Then Spent Years Unlearning) #truth #untruths #bloggers #bloggersblast

 

Repost from September 2015: This was in response to Day #2 prompt, Write A List, for a WP assignment – I took a slightly different angle. In the future, I may write a post for each one of these points.

A List of the Top Ten Things I Learned Before I Was 10 (And Then Spent Years Unlearning):

1. You can’t be smart and pretty at the same time – make a choice and move on;
2. Only blond-haired blue-eyed girls are pretty;
3. Everyone else’s feelings are more important than yours;
4. When you share your passion for something and you’re laughed at for it, don’t ever “share” again;
5. You’re a geek if you enjoy reading lots of books or prefer books to “hanging out” doing nothing with people;
6. If someone has negative things to say about you, believe them because it must be true;
7. When your instincts tell you that a situation doesn’t feel right, keep it to yourself;
8. Do what is expected and you will eventually learn to live with it;
9. Crying is a sign of total weakness that gets you nowhere – just suck it up; and
10. If you do the same thing over and over again, maybe you’ll get a different result.

What were some of the “truths” you “unlearned” as an adult?

©2015 Marquessa Matthews. All Rights Reserved.

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#TravelTuesday: Stories Under The Sun #beach #vacation

Carolina Beach, Puerto Rico ©2017 Marquessa Matthews. All Rights Reserved.

It boggles my mind when I hear people say that they don’t like the beach or vacationing.

What?! Who are these people?! 😉

If you happen to be one of those people, you may want to skip the next few #TravelTuesdays.

Not only will I likely post random vacation photos from my IG, I’ll probably post a few of my “vacation stories”.

In the meantime, close your eyes and don’t look at this video I posted last year… 🙂

Image and video content ©2017 Marquessa Matthews. All Rights Reserved.

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