What is a road trip you would love to take? Day #2 – Bloganuary

Road trip? No.

Plane trip? Yes.

My “go-to” is a little place that I’ve been enamoured with since I first visited in 1993.

The moment I stepped off the plane it felt like “home”. I’m not sure why but it did and still does every time I visit.

The place I used to go at least once a year until, well, you know…

The Enchanted Island – San Juan, Puerto Rico.

The place where I always stay a stone’s throw away from the beach.

The place where I spend most of my time near the water.

The place where I do the following things excessively:

Disconnect.

Relax.

Chill.

Breathe.

Eat.

The place where my biggest (First World) decisions of the day is “Do I spend the first half of the day at the pool or the beach?

I can’t wait to return.

©2022 Marquessa Matthews. All Rights Reserved.

What advice would you give to your teenage self? Day 1 of #Bloganuary

Note to reader: I enjoy writing fiction with a twist of reality so many of these daily Bloganuary prompts will take on a fictional slant. My approach? Write for 30 minutes, publish and then edit a few more times to set the “feeling”. That’s how I will roll for this challenge.

As I sit at her kitchen table being accused of yet another mysterious crime I have not committed, I distract myself from her yelling by mentally adding items to the “How did I end up like this?” list I have running in my head.

It means nothing to her that I sacrifice time away from my work and family to drop by daily to cook, clean and do errands for her. Nothing I have ever done was good enough in her eyes and nothing has changed.

With each visit, she still spends her time negatively comparing me to herself (who can do no wrong) or to those who have quietly distanced themselves far and farther away from her pent up anger and frustrations.

The day I realized that she has never had an interest in me was the day I started to mentally make a list of advice I would have told my teenage self, if I could have turned back the hands of time.

If I knew then what I know now, maybe, just maybe, I wouldn’t be sitting here…

The choices we make (or don’t make) are ours so don’t blame anyone else for the ones you make.

Take the time to figure out what your truth is, not someone’s truth or projection of truth onto you.

Just because someone loves you doesn’t mean that they always have your best interest at heart.

Some people need to feed on bitterness to get themselves through their days. Don’t be one of those people.

Never give up your passion to please others.

“What the hell is wrong with you? Aren’t you listening to me?”

The shrill of her voice jars me back to the reality of her kitchen where she is now standing next to me with the lunch plate I prepared for her in hand.

Realizing that I am lost in private thoughts that are not centered on her, she is more than displeased with the fact that I have been ignoring her latest performance.

“I said that this tastes like garbage! No wonder your kids eat out so much.”

Having been a professional chef for most of my working life before I retired, I almost laugh at her statement.

Almost.

A profession I had been reknown for across the city but that I resorted to because she made early and quick work of extinguishing my passion and spirit for what I truly wanted to do with my life.

I barely flinch as the plate hits the wall and shatters into tiny pieces all over the floor.

It all feels so familiar.

Memories from my childhood in this kitchen flash before my eyes. She needs no words because the glare that cuts into me demands that I clean up the mess she has just made.

Just as I did as a teenager, I make the choice to be silent.

But today as an adult, I make the choice to stay seated for a little longer than I normally would.

As I try to raise myself from my chair, I add another item to my mental list:

It is not your responsibility to try to “fix” what is broken in someone, especially if you didn’t break it. Simply concentrate on “fixing” yourself.

©2022 Marquessa Matthews. All Rights Reserved

 

 

Z is for Zero #AtoZChallenge @AtoZChallenge

Photo by Anete Lusina on Pexels.com

Returning to ZERO is not a failure.

It simply means that you have learned from your mistakes and are courageous enough to dust yourself off to try again with your new knowledge.

Starting from ZERO is a chance at a fresh path and reinventing yourself into who you were meant to blossom into before you were with him.

Y is for Yes #AtoZChallenge @AtoZChallenge

Say YES to going where you are loved, wanted and admired, not where you are discarded right after being strategically used whenever convenient.

Say YES to opening up your options. It is not true that only men who look like you want you. Don’t continue believing that lie. Other men are checking for you – all you need to do is look around and notice them.

Character over color – at all times. Remember, go where you are celebrated.

X is for XXX #AtoZChallenge @AtoZChallenge

He may ask you to send him naked pics because he wants to “look at you” when you aren’t with him.

His request may make you feel sexy like a Victoria Secret model but fast-forward to when your love is in the toilet and he threatens to send the photos to your family/workplace and show all of his friends…

You won’t be feeling very sexy when a photo of your hoohaa is circulating around town, will you?

Instead, turn the tables. Tell him to send you pictures of his junk FIRST and see how he reacts…

Then sit back, watch and listen closely to his excuses about why he can’t do the same for you…

W is for Womb #AtoZChallenge @AtoZChallenge

Protect your WOMB.

Having a baby with the wrong man can lead to a lifetime of struggle and stress.

I’ve seen one too many friends deal with co-parenting nightmares with men they should have never looked twice at.

Guard your WOMB by increasing the protection that YOU have control over, for example, a female condom, bc pills and/or other forms your physician can talk to you about. If he tries to pressure to NOT using condoms, dump him quick.

If you don’t know what “stealthing” is, read up on it. Just because the term is not trending anymore doesn’t mean that it is happening less.

Some men will purposely try to get you pregnant because you are doing too well and they want to ruin your life plans or they want to keep you chained to them forever and be a thorn in your side for all your future relationships.

V is for Violence #AtoZChallenge @AtoZChallenge

VIOLENCE of any kind is unacceptable.

Whether it be verbal, emotional, or physical, it is all a hard NO.

If he punches holes in the walls to scare you, leave.

If he forces you to do things you don’t want to do, leave.

If he hits you once, he will do it again.

At the first opportunity that you can do so safely, leave.

Do not listen to his apologies.

Do not give him a chance to escalate with threats against you, your kids and your family if you leave or tell the cops.

As you’ve heard time and time again, your abuser is only as strong as your silence.

Don’t be ashamed to get out at the first signs of VIOLENCE.