F is for “Fairy Tales” #atozchallenge

Fairy Tales


I’ve only been drunk once in my life and tonight is a perfect time try it for the second time.

Luckily, my scheduled days off have coincided with this shit storm around me and I plan on calling in sick tomorrow as a way to avoid Bruno for another day before Athena covers my next two shifts after that.

From my lack of response to his calls and texts, Bruno has mistakenly assumed that I want alone time since this is the anniversary week of my brother’s passing. To be honest, I had almost forgotten but I’m glad that he’s giving me space because I still don’t know how I’m going to deal with him and his cheating ass. Right now, I don’t want to deal with him, patients or anyone else. The only people I want in my chaos are Athena and Ella.

I never knew what it was like to have many friends growing up but I know that I’m blessed to have found these two ladies later in life. They are my Thelma and Louise who refused to leave me alone to wallow in my pity and misery. They are also more than willing to help me hide and forget everything for a while and the bottle of Bacardi 151 that Ella has brought over to distract me is doing the trick to numb out a non-drinker like me.

I’m lying on the floor in the middle of my living room with my eyes closed to stop the room from spinning. Though the room has stopped spinning, my head is now bobbing uncontrollably to the beat of “Love Is  A Battle Field” that Athena is blasting from the television and I can’t seem to stop.

“I need another drink!” Athena yells. I feel the whoosh of her skirt across my legs and reopen my eyes to see her hopelessly trying to recreate the dance break along with the Pat Benatar video playing from the YouTube stream. She outstretches her glass for Ella refresh her glass.

“No. You’ve had more than enough for now,” Ella refuses and flops down onto the couch with the bottle tucked between her thighs.

Watching Athena dancing is making me dizzy and I’m suddenly afraid that I’m going to get showered by the contents of her glass. I roll away just in time as Athena spills some onto the hardwood floor where I was just lying. Athena’s infectious giggling gets me going down a path where I can’t control my laughter at how stupid she looks.

Ella rakes back in the couch and shakes her head at both of us.

“Wow, I never realized until now what amateurs you are when it comes to the hard stuff.” Ella pours herself a shot and downs it like the “boss bitch” we see her as. “I’d love to join in on the inebriated fun but I’ve got to get back to the club before closing. You’re staying here with Kiki tonight right?”

Athena nods. “Yeah, Oscar’s working the night shift. Don’t worry, I’m not driving anywhere tonight.”

Without saying a word, Ella grabs Athena’s purse and takes her keys.

“Good. But I’ll hang onto these until I come back in the morning anyways.” Ella grabs my hand and pulls me up to a sitting position. “You’ve had it rough this week. This Bacardi will let you get all this shit out of your system so that you can slam the door on this asshole and start fresh.”

It’s kind of funny how Athena and I became friends with Ella. It was through a pole dancing class we signed up for. Actually, Athena signed up and forced me to tag along during her pre-Oscar “sexy self-exploration” phase because she was afraid to go alone. Needless to say, I couldn’t bring sexy back to save my life but after the very first class, I was ecstatic that I went. Besides Ella’s “I’m the shit” attitude, I immediately fell in like with her from the old music she played during her classes. It was almost as if she had stolen some of my personal playlists.

A few classes in and a few coffees later, we all bonded over our love of older music. Ella had a magnetism and air about her that is hard to describe. The few times she’s stopped by the hospital to see me, not only would men of all ages and sexual orientation stop to stare but so would their women.

And to be honest, I think that both Athena and I had a small girl crush on her at the beginning, you know the kind when you admire and would like to emulate at times. She’s like the big sister I never had.

“She can’t start fresh until she punches Bruno’s fucking lights out.”

We both stare at Athena with surprise. The booze is bringing out Athena’s aggressive side of her while I’m more of the sad sleepy type. She drops down next to me and lays her head in my lap.

Ella’s confusion is clear. “Wait. You didn’t confront Bruno yet?”

Before I can answer for myself, Athena chimes in. “Nope. It’s not like she can tell him that she eavesdropped on his conversation after breaking into his house and while hiding in his closet.”

“Exactly,” I nod.

At the sight of Debbie Gibson on the screen busting cheesy moves to “Electric Youth”, Athena stumbles to get up and starts dancing along miserably to the video again. Ella stares at her as if she’s trying to understand how Athena could be such a bad dancer. She squeezes her eyes shut to erase the sight and then turns back to me.

“Well, you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do. Confront him or ghost him for a while, do what your spirit tells you to. But you’ll eventually have to talk to him when you’re at the hospital. That’s why they say don’t fuck your honey where you make your money. I did that once and I would never make that mistake again.”

My head is spinning again. “If you were me, what would you do?”

“Well,” Ella takes a small sip from her glass. “You know that I don’t give advice like that. Especially since I can flip from burn-down-your-house-Left Eye Lopes to Ice Queen in a nanosecond.” She gives me a hard look that burns into me.

“If you were a different type of woman, I would tell you to call Bruno out on his shit and then marry him.”

Athena’s head snaps to attention just as fast as mine. “Marry him? Are you insane?”

“No, I’m quite the opposite. Do you want me to sugar-coat what I’m going to say or should I skip the fairytales and be brutally raw? You decide.”

Athena and I exchange looks through our drunken mess.

“Raw,” we say in unison and buckle up for Ella’s ride.

© Copyright 2019 Marquessa Matthews. All Rights Reserved

For my email subscribers, you already have the link to access Part 2 of this installment.

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E is for “Ex-Factor” #atozchallenge



Part 1

Tit for tat is what I wanted and that’s exactly what I got.

Diana is always ready, willing and able…

I had so much pent up rage last night over the Chelsea fiasco that Diana was my first option for stress relief. I called her, she came over and I exhausted her to the point where she just couldn’t take anymore.

When I hear my cell buzz, I brush cross her naked body to grab my cell from the nightstand on the other side of the bed. Diana doesn’t budge nor has she in the past few hours that I’ve been lying here just staring at the ceiling.

My cell screen shows me that Chelsea has called a dozen times since our public blowout at the hotel. Her latest message begs me to call her or she’ll come over to my place.

There is no way in hell that either is happening since I already told security downstairs that I don’t want to see anyone.

I take a deep breath before searching for my name on a variety of social media sites and curse at the growing newsfeeds about the incident.

Shit. How is it that TMZ always gets part of the truth so fast?

Bobby has also been calling so it’s clear that shit has hit the fan hard.

Diana sighs and turns over to cuddle up to me. Then she takes my cell away to look at the newsfeeds herself.

“It will blow over soon. Don’t worry about it sweetie.”

Just as she is about to hand my cell back, another text from Chelsea pops up on the screen. Her fingers start texting way and before I can wrestle the cell away, Diana hits send and hands it back.

“I did what I know you want to do but won’t…” She smiles like the cat who ate the canary as I take a look at what she texted.

Fuck off bitch!

I roll my eyes. “That was uncalled for and she’s going to know that I didn’t send it.”

“How do you know that?”

“It’s not a word I use often, if ever.”

“Whatever! Fuck her. She’ll just know that you’ve already replaced her.”

Uh…replaced? No, not replaced.

“We all warned you about her but you didn’t want to listen.”

“Look, I’m not in the mood for any I-told-you-so shit…”

“Anyways…you’re better off without her.”

Diana leans in for a quick kiss, gets out of bed and stretches to the heavens, naked as the day she was born. The one thing that Diana has that Chelsea never did were the kind of curves I prefer. Not stick thin, meaty enough in all the right places and not looking like she was afraid to have a good meal.

“I’m going to be sore all day from what you did to me last night – you were totally out of control and I loved it. I think that a long hot bath is in order. Care to join me?”

I’m not particularly interested but I fake a smile and shake my head.

“You go on ahead. I’ve got to make a few calls. And then I’ll make us some breakfast.”

“You’re going to make breakfast? You calling me AND homemade breakfast? You should call me more often!” Surprise is written all of Diana’s face. She leans over to give me a more languid and thorough kiss that I barely return.

It hits me pretty quick that offering breakfast is a bit more intimate and that she may be reading more into the situation than there is.

When she disappears into the bathroom, my cell buzzes. It’s Chelsea again.

Who the fuck are you with?

© Copyright 2019 Marquessa Matthews. All Rights Reserved

For my email subscribers, you already have the link to access Part 2 of this installment.

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D is for “Don’t Want To Be A Fool” #atozchallenge

Don’t Want To Be A Fool


Breaking into Bruno’s apartment is a very, very, very, bad idea but I’m doing it anyways.

I can just see the headlines now – “Crazy doctor arrested for breaking into her doctor boyfriend’s home to search for engagement ring”.

Technically, I have a key so it’s not really breaking in. At least, that’s what I’ve convinced myself of.

I’m just going to let myself in, look around a little and leave. No harm, no foul.

“Are you parked around the corner away from his house like I told you to do?”

Athena’s voice booms in my ear and startles the living daylights out of me. I’ve owned the hands-free earpiece for years but never used it until today. I’m sitting for so long in my car with my hands are gripping the steering wheel and I feel frozen to my seat.

Yeah, this is a bad idea. Everyone knows that curiosity killed the cat.

“Kiki, answer me!”

“Yeah, yeah, I hear you. Remind me why I’m doing this again?”

Athena takes a breath and calmly reminds me. “Because you’re curious and hate surprises. Because you want to know why he’s acting weird. And because you want to know if he’s going to put a ring on your finger.”

“And where do I look first? Maybe his nightstand drawer?”

I feel like some kind of spy talking to her through the earpiece, like I’m in an episode of a television cop show where they are strategizing about their plan of attack.

“No, you stay over there way too often for him to risk an obvious spot like that. If he has a ring stashed anywhere in the house, he would simply hide it somewhere you never go. No offense but Bruno is one of those guys who are smart but really stupid when it comes to being creative. Check the freezer, his underwear drawer and the pocket of his favorite suit as soon as you go in.”

“Uh, okay, I can do this, I can do this…”

“You can only do this if you get your ass out of the car and into the house Kiki…”

Athena is right. I get out, hide my purse under the front seat and head towards Bruno’s place with his key already in my hand. As I walk quickly, the call-waiting beep comes through my earpiece.

“For God’s sake! I keep getting calls from a weird 332 area code.”

“Probably telemarketers. Just ignore it. Do you want me to stay on the line as you look around?”

“No. I can’t multitask like that. I’ll call you afterwards.”

“Okay. Are you sure that Bruno won’t be back until after 7:00PM?”

“That’s what he said. He and his partner are interviewing for a new receptionist at the clinic. With traffic downtown, he won’t be here before that time. Guaranteed. I’ve got a few hours but I don’t plan on looking around for that long.”

“Well, take advantage of the opportunity. I know that I would. Call me as soon as you’re back in the car.”

I figure out how to end the call by touching the edge of the earpiece itself and make my way to the front door. My hands shake as I let myself in. As usual, Bruno’s place is spotless. Everything is in its rightful place so I’m going to need to be extra careful with anything I touch. He could very well notice if I leave something out of place.

My first stop is the freezer. I sift through the frozen dinners, ice cream and veggies and find nothing. In the living room, I check his desk drawer and the storage section of the coffee table. Nothing. In the bedroom, I check both nightstands and then gently rifle through his underwear and sock drawer. I come up empty.

I slide the closet door open and find his suits. I shove my hands into all of the pockets and come up dry until I get to the very last one that he wears the most often. I feel something rigid and with one quick tug, I have a small square ring box staring back at me.

Oh. My. God.

I crack it open and the most beautiful diamond ring is sitting pretty and sparkly in the box. My hands are shaking so much that I always drop the box to the floor.

He’s going to propose. Oh my God, I’m getting married!

I’m excited but still have the wherewithal to take a photo of the ring to show Athena later. I admire it a little more before taking a seat at the edge of the bed to continue staring at it.

Bruno is an overall good guy. I can picture us having a better relationship than the one of toleration that my folks have with each other. We can be happy. When he asks, I can say yes. I will say yes. Yes. 

My heart is still pounding with excitement that I barely hear keys opening Bruno’s front door.

Who the hell is that? It can’t be Alice the cleaning lady. It’s not Friday!

Panicked and like a maniac, I jump up, smooth the spot on the bed where I was sitting and slip the ring box back into the suit pocket.

Shit, shit, shit! Maybe she switched her cleaning day?

The footsteps are headed in my direction, loud and fast and I’m stuck in the bedroom with no escape. My only option is to jump into the closet, close its’ door and crouch down in the corner.

I am so totally busted.

And now my nerves have got me wanting to pee…

If Alice catches me, I’m toast. And when she tells Bruno, he’s going to dump me.

I crouch as far back in the closet I can. My urge to pee slips away from my mind as I hear the fridge door open, close and then the cracking open of a soda pop can.

Alice helps herself to the fridge when she’s here? Okay.

But as the heaviness of footsteps get closer, I quickly realize that Alice’s barely 5’1 ft and 100 pound body wouldn’t make such noise.

It isn’t Alice in the house.

It’s Bruno and he’s home early.

And my cell starts to buzz with that stupid 332 area code number.

Shit.  I’m done…

© Copyright 2019 Marquessa Matthews. All Rights Reserved

For my email subscribers, you already have the link to access Part 2 of this installment.

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C is for “Chelsea Rodgers” #atozchallenge

Chelsea Rodgers


I’m thoroughly enjoying being buried deep inside of Chelsea but from her lack of enthusiasm, I don’t think she feels the same.

And it’s killing my mood.

I’m trying my best to get her to come first but from the expression on her face, I know that behind her closed eyes, the only thing on her mind is going to the A-list event we’re attending tonight.

Actually, that’s a lie. About the event, I mean. We aren’t invited to the event, Chelsea is. Her agent scored her an invite and by default, I have to go too since I’m back in New York between concerts.

The first time I ditched one of Chelsea’s events was also my last. The paparazzi had a field day speculating about our on again off again relationship and rumors that we had broken up again started trending. Vania had royally cursed me out about all the time she had to spend spinning a story about me being under the weather. The truth was that I just wasn’t in the state of mind for a roomful of fake smiles, silicone tits and from on the down low celebrity men trying to get me on their team. No thanks on all accounts.

Instead, I had spent the evening rocking out on with my guitar to some of my favorite ’80s tunes and it was heaven. So yeah, it’s easier to go along with Chelsea to this event tonight to avoid a problem before it could even begin.

In life, sometimes you’ve simply got to do what you’ve got to do, even when you don’t want to.

Just as I’m about to give up on Chelsea and concentrate on my own release, the doorbell rings in the distance followed by a loud knock at the front door. I ignore it until I hear the creaking of an opening door open and a gaggle of voices. Startled, I quickly shift off and out of Chelsea’s body.

“What the fuck?!!”

Unphased, Chelsea rolls out from under me and pulls on her robe. “Don’t worry. It’s just the crew to help me get ready for tonight.”

“You let them have carte blanche to your place like that?”

“Of course. What’s the problem?” She glances down at my still-hard dick. “Sorry Baby. I’ll make it up to you later. I promise.” She gives me a quick kiss and with that, she disappears from the bedroom to greet them.

“Close the door,” I remind her and she leaves to me alone with my now semi-hard hard-on.


I grab my dick, unroll the condom I’ve got on and toss it into the trash. If it wasn’t for the fact that her team is just on the other side of the bedroom door and that I am more than pissed at the intrusion, I might have finished myself off. But the last thing I need is someone accidentally walking in as I jack off so I decide against it.

Carte blanche access is crazy and dangerous.

I’m going to have to talk to her about that.

Chelsea Rodgers, former model and current reality television star with her eye on the big screen, is my girlfriend…again. I first met Chelsea when she was the newest and hottest thing on the fashion runways. It was at one of those Victoria Secret type of parties that everyone in the industry goes to just to say that they went. She was tucked away in a quiet and I was attracted by the way she seemed to want to stay on the outskirts of the fray. I approached her and in talking, we discovered that we had attended the same New York high school but had missed each other by a few years. She was sweet and a little shy compared to most of the other girls at the party who bolded approached me.

We hit off. And I also thought that it was more than a coincidence that she just so happened to be wearing my favorite color (purple) and that she had the exact same name as a Prince song.

We dated for about a year before her career skyrocketed and she was in demand everywhere. I encouraged her to spread her wings and to think about herself first, not me. I’m not for holding anyone back from their dreams and I had my career too. But every few years, Chelsea and I seem to gravitate back to each other, maybe out of love and habit. But with each reunion, Chelsea is less of that sweet and shy girl that I knew way back when and much more of the strategizing woman she needs to be in this difficult business of crazy.

I lay back in the bed and listen to the chatter behind the door. I can picture Chelsea sitting like a queen bee in her make-chair in the other bedroom that doubles as her “get-ready room” while her worker bee entourage of hair, make-up and fashion people get her dressed. They will easily be at it for hours so I’ve got plenty of time on my hands.

But they have the worst timing. Twenty minutes more and we could have conquered round two in bed. I close my eyes, turn over and drift off into a semi-sleep.

On days like these, I thank my fucking stars that I’m a man.

To get ready, all I really need to do is roll out of bed, hit the shower, and throw on the Armani suit that Chelsea’s stylist picked out for me to match her dress.

After about an hour of dozing, I’m restless. I wrap my lower half in the bedsheet and make my way to the door to check out what’s going on.  Blond curly extensions are being installed to match her current hair color, face contouring is taking place and someone is taping her tits up to give her cleavage a little added “pop”. Her runaway modelling days are over and I totally get that she wants to catch the next wave of whatever is coming after all the reality show fame starts to wane. The need to be in the right place at the right time to meet the right people is what she’s all about since we got back together.

Been there, done that.

It wasn’t fun and I’m glad to no longer be in that position. I hate schmoozing with fake people in the industry and networking with a purpose. But I’ve got to support my girl and will do what I need to.

Chelsea spots me standing in the doorway and blows me a kiss.

“Baby, you had better start getting ready,” Chelsea calls out to me. “Go take your shower. I don’t want to be late.”

I nod and head to the bathroom, feeling all of the ladies eyes on my half-naked body. As soon I shut the door, I hear their hushed giggles and a return to their girl talk.

After an extra-long shower, my cell rings with Bobby’s ringtone. I wrap myself up in a towel and grab my cell from the bathroom counter.

“What’s up Niko?” Wherever Bobby is, the music is louder than a rock concert and he is almost yelling.

“Bobby? Where the hell are you?” Before he can answer, I hear the familiar sounds of whistling and the pulsating beat of the music. I already know where Bobby is. “A strip club? Are you looking to accidentally get married again? Or do you want to get drugged and relieved of your wallet for the umpteenth time?”

“Niko, Niko, Niko, don’t worry! It’s just a night out with the good old boys,” he laughs. “I’ve learned my lesson. Or should I say “lessons”. And I can’t get remarried when I’m not divorced from Betty Boop yet.”  Betty Boop was the stage name of the last “accident” Bobby had on a night out with his old crew.

“Are you drunk?” I ask out of concern. He has a tendency to overdo things when he isn’t babysitting me on tour.

“Not enough but I will be soon! But before I do, did you call Jessica?”

My mind draws a blank. “Jessica who?”

Through the din and roars in the background, Bobby sigh is clear. “Dude! The publicist in Cali I told you about! I gave you her number when we were in Minneapolis weeks ago.”

“Oh fuck! Fuck, fuck, fuck! No, I totally forgot.”

“Yeah, that’s what I thought. You’re probably too busy doing just that to Chelsea.”

“Look, I’ll touch base with her right now. Thanks for reminding me.”

“Yeah, do it today. We need to lock her and her agency down because they are what we need. And we need a spin doctor in place if something comes up.”

“I know, I know. I’ll handle it. Don’t get too stupid with your old cronies, okay?”

“Who are you calling old?” Bobby laughs. “You know I will!”

I towel off, run some gel through my damp hair and get myself dressed in the suit that has miraculously appear laid out on the bed for me while I was in the shower. It takes me all of 15 minutes to get ready and make myself look presentable. I join Chelsea and her team in the other room and take a seat on a couch far from their madness.

One look at me and I can tell that Chelsea’s not impressed with something. “You’re not shaving? Those are her words but her tone nags with “you should shave.”

My hand immediately runs across the facial hair I have neglected to get rid of because I kind of like it.

“He looks hot with that short beard Chelsea! Makes him look even more hot and manly than he already is,” the nameless woman states as if I’m not even in the room, “I’m going to touch up his face a little as soon as I’m done with you.”

Chelsea raises her eyebrows as if she concedes and sticks out her long leg like Cinderella for one of the girls to strap on a gravity-defying heel. Chelsea wriggles her toes and then extends her other leg. I take my cell out and scroll through my cell for Jessica’s number.

I might as well get the call out of the way while I’m waiting.

It rings, rings and rings some more until I hear the beginning of a voice mail that I don’t listen to. I hate leaving messages because I always find myself rambling so I simply hang up. I scroll my social media feeds that my social media team now handles to check out what is being said about me in the latest Tweets and Instagram photos from fans taken at my concerts.

I’m so engrossed in some of the over-the-top sexy comments that some fans have left that I barely notice Chelsea get up from the chair and drop her robe to reveal her naked body to the entire room. With all of the quick changes on the runways all over the world, nakedness is second nature to her. I’m not sure if that’s a good thing or a bad thing but it’s her. Three women hover around her, holding the dress so that she can simply step into it and not mess it up with her make-up.

The make-up lady motions for me to sit and I follow her instruction. She slaps some barely-there foundation on my face and within minutes, we’re ready to go.

“You are both hot but together, you guys are smoking hot. I’m surprised that the paparazzi haven’t nicknamed you yet, like Branjelina, Bennifer, TomKat and now J-Rod. You know like…NiChe or Chelnik.”

Utter stupidities coming out of this woman’s mouth. Three out of those four couples are no longer together and one still has to make it down the aisle again…for the fourth time, I think? And is “hot” the only word in her Paris Hilton vocabulary? 

I want to kiss Chelsea but I know better than to lean in because she won’t want to ruin up her newly painted red lips.

Someone says that the car is waiting at the back entrance to Chelsea’s building so we head downstairs. As we exit the elevator, I place my hand on Chelsea’s lower back and she startles as if she’s taken by surprise.

“What’s wrong?”

“Sorry. Just a little on edge I guess. There are going to be a lot of powerful people at this event and I need to be on my best game,” she explains as I open her door and she slips into the town car. I slide in next to her and hold her hand.

“Don’t worry. You’re a go-getter and never fail to impress.” I squeeze her hand and then kiss it.

“Thanks Baby. You’re too sweet to me. And sorry about before…you know…” she says referring to when her team barged in.

“It’s all good Chelsea. And you’re going to make it up to me, remember?” I tease. Knowing that she’s nervous, I keep the conversation to a minimum until the town car stops at the hotel entrance to where the party is being held. The driver steps out, circles the car and opens the door for us. I step out and extend my hand for her to take.

“Are you ready?”

“I am. Let’s rock.”

© Copyright 2019 Marquessa Matthews. All Rights Reserved

For my email subscribers, you already have the link to access Part 2 of this installment.

If you are interested in reading the rest of this installment, feel free to sign up for my email list and I’ll add you to my private folder as soon as I can (depending on the time-zone difference).


B is for “Because Of Love” #atozchallenge

Because of love


Talking about our sex and love lives while doused in blood and other people’s bodily fluids is par of our course.

When Athena and I work the same shift, we always take the opportunity to gossip and catch up on each other’s news. While everyone else is enjoying the first taste of spring in the Montreal air, it’s just another Saturday night in the emergency room for us.

“Oh my God Kiara! He’s totally going to ask you to marry him!”

I roll my eyes and wait for Athena to throw her surgical gloves into the hazardous waste trash. After she readjusts her ponytail that is now completely undone because of the chest compressions she was performing, I wait for her to throw me a new pair of scrubs after she has put on her own. Her efforts to revive her patient were for naught and even though I had come to help, the bleeding was far too fast and furious. The patient never had a chance.

“Shut up and throw me some scrubs, will you?”

I peel off the ones I’m wearing, sidestep the pool of blood creeping closer towards my feet and grab the fresh set she hands me.

This is my third scrub change in as many hours but somehow by the grace of God, my white coat is still fluid and stain free. I’m definitely on a roll today but not in a good way.

So far, I’ve been lied to by a drug addict trying to score pain medication, pooped on by a diarrhea-ridden toddler whose parents could barely vote, and ass-grabbed by a rowdy homeless man. But the crème de la crème was being called the “N” word under an old ladies’ breath. She assumed that I was the nurse and then proceeded to tell me not to touch her. When I introduced myself as the doctor, she blinked in surprise and gave me a thorough once over.

I could see the wheels spinning in her head but it wasn’t to find a politically correct way to dismiss me, it was to come up with a palatable lie. That lie came in the form of telling me that she wanted to be attended to by a “real” doctor since I looked too young to know anything. What I did know is that what looked like her broken arm wasn’t going to be examined by me.

Granted, I do look way younger than I really am but we both knew that her refusal had nothing to do with my youthful looks. If anything else, her use of the “N” word under her breath was self-explanatory. I was quick to have her sign off on her right to refuse care and be on my way to assist someone else. Little did the old battleaxe know that being a non-emergency case, she had just placed herself far back on the triage list and that once word of her attitude spread, she would reap the benefits of basic perfunctory care, not the above and beyond we pride ourselves on as care givers.

Nine hours left on my shift…

“I’m serious Kiara. I had a vision that Bruno proposed to you. And you know me and my visions.”

I scoff and roll my eyes again. “You mean those crazy visions that never come to pass? Yeah, right. If you’re not careful, I’ll send you off for evaluation one of these days,” I tease. She slaps me on the arm as we head out into the hallway.

Back in the triage area, patients are overflowing the room. Working a Saturday shift is always like being in a zoo full of people when a full moon is out. It’s crazy but the adrenaline rush of never knowing what is going to fly through the ER doors is an addictive high.

A bus load of kids from a flipped over school bus, a hit and run victim, a pregnant mother in distress…I love the challenge of taking action, thinking quick on my feet and making my patients feel better. I may not always get to the root of my own problems but at least I can usually solve theirs and send them home feeling better.

Most of my colleagues, including my boyfriend Bruno who is a cardiologist at the hospital, say that they can’t picture themselves doing anything else but practice medicine. But though I’ve never said it out loud, I can picture myself doing something else. My problem is that I don’t know what that “something else” would be. It took me almost all of med school to realize that though I excel at being a good doctor, becoming a doctor was never my dream.

I’m not living my best life and I know it. But it is what it is.

“Athena, all I said was that Bruno is acting weird lately. It could be the stress of opening up his new office but I really don’t know. On some days, he’s distant and barely talks. On other days he’s super-attentive and can’t get enough of me. How does any of that relate to a marriage proposal?”

As we make our way to the hospital cafeteria for a coffee break, I smile and individually greet the orderlies and nurses we pass. With so many hours spent within the confines of this hospital, they are all like my second family to me. When we cross paths with Mike, one of janitors in that section, he stops mid-mop to say hello.

“How’s your wife’s new job working out Mike?” I ask.

Mike’s eyebrows raise high. “Oh…It’s been a few months already and she’s loving it! Wow! You never cease to amaze me with that memory of yours Doc. How do you remember all that stuff Kiki?”

Every time any of the supporting staff call me by my first name without the “Dr.” title, Bruno’s disapproving face flashes through my mind. He hates that I don’t insist on being called “Dr.” almost as much as my folks do on the rare occasions they have appointments here.

“I try Mike. I try. Don’t work too hard now.”

I try to remember because I know what it feels like to be invisible. Remembering the little things about people are important and make them feel like they matter.

In the cafeteria, we grab coffees and muffins and head to our usual table by the window away from listening ears in case our voices carry. The hospital is a great place to work but it’s also a place where gossip abounds.

“Okay Athena, tell me why you think Bruno is going to propose?”

“Well, a few months before Oscar proposed to me, he did the same type of thing. He would get really quiet and pensive like something was weighing on his mind. Then, he would disappear without telling me where he was going. I thought that he was stepping out on me and I almost broke up with him because of it. I was so totally convinced of it that…well, I did a kind of …uh…took action.”

Athena screws up her face and gives a big sigh. Knowing her, whatever she did was epic because if you look up drama queen, you would find Athena’s face.

“I’m afraid to ask so just spill it already.” I have long forgotten about my coffee as I wait for her to dish the dirt.

“Well,” Athena lowers her voice. “Like you, my folks would have disowned me if I had moved in with Oscar without a ring on my finger. But I did have a key to his place…”

My body tenses up. I already know what Athena is going to say.

“No. You. Didn’t…Please tell me you didn’t!”

“Yes. I. Did.” Athena nods like one of those bobblehead figures on the dash of a car. “I searched Oscar’s apartment from top to bottom like the jealous bitch that I was…well, I still am…while he was at work and looked for evidence of his cheating.”

If it’s one thing I know, Bruno would never cheat on me. Besides being obsessed with working, Bruno is quite boring and it’s hard to even get him to go places on our days off.

“But of course Oscar wasn’t cheating and you didn’t find anything…”

“No, I didn’t find anything but I did comb through his browsing history on his laptop. That’s when I hit pay dirt.”

“Pay dirt?”  I let out the breath that I’ve been holding in anticipation. “You’re killing me. What did you find?”

© Copyright 2019 Marquessa Matthews. All Rights Reserved

For my email subscribers, you already have the link to access Part 2 of this installment.

If you are interested in reading the rest of this installment, feel free to sign up for my email list and I’ll add you to my private folder as soon as I can (depending on the time-zone difference).

A is for “Another Lover Hole N Yo Head” #atozchallenge

Another Lover Hole n Yo Head


Another city, another sold out concert.

The excitement and energy in the air before every big venue is always palpable but I’m used to it. I have long perfected the art of blocking out the machinations of the arena staff, stage panel crew, sound checks that don’t require my presence and the venue managers team running up and down the hallways behind my dressing room door.

Look, I adore sharing myself and music with my loyal fans and would do almost anything to make them happy. I mean, I agreed to this ridiculously grueling tour because of some social media campaign a fan started and that my manager thought I should follow through on. I didn’t feel like touring so soon again but I did it for them. If that’s not love for my fans, I don’t know what is.

But I won’t fool you. Though I love touring, I’m slowly starting to hate it. And these days, all I keep thinking about is when this tour is over and I can slow the pace down.

I’m just so tired.

Not only am I physically exhausted but I truly need a mental break from the damn promotional events, the groupies, having the paparazzi all up in my shit and escorting my girlfriend Chelsea to her press junkets on the rare days that I’m back in New York between concerts.

From a distance, I can hear the band practicing one of the new song arrangements suggested by Bobby, my manager. He thinks that we should spice up some of the slower tunes with a fresher beat and though I reluctantly agreed to it, I hate the changes.

When I write songs, they capture what I am feeling in the moment and believe me when I say that I’ve never written anything with a reggaeton or techno-style beat in mind. I have nothing against those trendy tunes on the radio these days but dropping a beat to some of my slow love songs just to satisfy a younger demographic?

Fuck no. I mean, the new arrangements aren’t total shit but they just aren’t…me. My diehard fans won’t mind but like me, I know they will always prefer the tried and true originals.

I squeeze my eyes shut as Diana, also known as Dirty Diana or DD for short, applies foundation to my face.

Who gave her that stupid nickname? I hope that it wasn’t me in my younger shit-stupid days.

Out of respect and unlike some of the others from the crew that actually called her DD, I always call her by her real name. Diana stopped reacting to the nickname years ago but I’m sure that it was a bitter pill to swallow. It’s only on days like today when she is on her flirt with me that I call her DD in my head. For the past hour, she has been applying the industrial strength concert ready make-up on my face to withstand the hot arena lights and all the sweating I will do.

I hate sitting still for so long. It’s the worst kind of slow torture when I’m pumped up and raring to get onstage to bathe in the screams, the bright lights, the band and the fans giving me all of their energy.

I’m tired of this life but yet it gives me life. It’s a fucking contradiction that I juggle with every day.

But yeah, this rockstar lifestyle is starting to lose its’ glow.

One too many cities with virtually no rest in between, the exhaustion is creeping up on me and killing my creative juices. When I’m on the road like this, I have no time to write new music and that’s what I live for. My first true love is song writing. Sharing and performing my songs somehow ended up being a natural by-product of it all. I haven’t really sat at a piano or picked up my guitar to just jam for the fun of it in at least four months and I’m itching to get back in that groove.

“Niko, stop frowning! You’re messing up my beautiful canvas.” Diana scolds. She has clearly been in flirt mode with me over the past few cities. The last thing I want is to cheat with her or any other woman now that I’ve made up my mind to make things work with Chelsea. “What are you thinking about that’s making you tense up like that?”

I realize that I’m frowning enough to interrupt her work on me so I open my eyes and try my best to relax my face. She’s smiling down at me with a foundation brush angled near my cheek.

“Sorry.” I return her smile. “Nothing really. Just thinking about…stuff.”

Since rejoining the tour, Diana has been sporting super straight black extensions, reminiscent of Cher in her younger days and a deep fake-a-bake tan. When I first saw her, I didn’t even recognize her. I’m not sure what “look” DD is going for these days but I do know that I prefer the original Diana with the fair-skin and red hair. I can’t understand why she just doesn’t want to look like herself but to each his or her own. Women are just too complicated to figure out and I stopped trying years ago.

Rumor has it that she is still reeling from a bad break-up, that she is reinventing herself and that she’s on the prowl for a rebound. I don’t know about all the other shit but from her overt sexy come-ons to me, I know that she definitely has me on the brain.

Each and every time Diana works on me, I wonder how many hours it takes her to put herself together – the make-up, sexy outfits, killer heels, and nails long enough to take someone’s eye out. I have never seen her makeup-less (or less than “fleek” in her words), even when we were sexing each other every chance we got during last year’s European tour.

“Well, you must be thinking about something because you are totally, totally tense.”

Diana shoves the brush into her make-up artist belt, swivels the chair around and proceeds to sweep her palms lightly across my shoulder blades before massaging them hard and deep. I won’t fool you, the kneading of her strong hands feels amazing and immediately melts my tenseness away. I close my eyes, drop my head forward and groan loudly. I try my best to ignore the fact that she is purposely pressing her tits into my back.

Fuck, her hands are like magic. Then again, DD has always had skilled hands.

When her hands slide from my shoulders down to my chest to caress my pecs, she startles me with her hot breath against my ear.

“Hmm, I know of a much better way to relax you before this show…”

Diana swivels the makeup chair back around and before I know it, Diana forces my legs open and is on her knees between my thighs. Her seductive stare from under her false eyelashes tells me what she has in mind as both of her hands trail their way to my zipper.

DD is definitely on a mission and is coming for me…hard.

© Copyright 2019 Marquessa Matthews. All Rights Reserved

PART 2 of this installment – For my email subscribers, you received a link to access the rest of this installment in your inbox. If you are interested in reading the rest of this installment, feel free to sign up for my email list and I’ll add you to my private folder as soon as I can (depending on the time-zone difference).

Will You Believe in “Sweet Serendipity”? #atozchallenge

I’ve encountered a number of indie writers who have book covers designed before they even put pen to paper or fingers to keyboard.

It gives them something to visually look at, to be inspired by and to write towards.

I decided to take a small leap and do the same so the cover you see above is what I have for the purposes of my A to Z Challenge story, just for fun.

What do you think?

I think that it is totally cute! It falls in line with just what I had in mind.

The guy is not gorgeous but just good-looking enough to be handsome in a rugged way and the woman is pretty and looks younger than she really is in the story I’m working on.

If you follow my A to Z story starting on April 1, you’ll tell me if the cover helps you to visualze these two characters.

If you are participating in the challenge, happy writing! If you are following along as a reader, happy reading!


M  xoxo