I’ve written about this before… you know, saying “no” to a request or expectation without providing a follow-up excuse and/or babbling explanation.

I don’t know about you but I’ve always felt the need to “explain”, even when it is not necessary.

But I have gotten much better at saying “No, that doesn’t work for me” and dropping the mic right there. The more I do it, the easier it gets and I’m looking forward to mastering this skill in 2019.

Have you mastered the skill of making “no” a full sentence? Please share.

Disclaimer: I have no copyrights to the song and/or video and/or hyperlinks to songs and/or videos and/or gifs above. No copyright infringement intended.

Celebrating the small things in life is important because some days, that is all you will have.

More and more, I have been treating the small things as big things, no matter how banal it may be…like driving right past my favorite coffeeshop without going through the drive-through? WIN!

Or persuading customer service to give me a discount on one of my annual memberships? WIN!

Or listening to a colleagues’ problem and asking the right questions for them to figure out their own issue? WIN!

Getting all the green lights on the way to work? WIN!

Believe me, I can celebrate just about anything if I want to put a smile on my face.

Disclaimer: I have no copyrights to the song and/or video and/or hyperlinks to songs and/or videos and/or gifs above. No copyright infringement intended.

Sometimes, it’s not worth wasting energy on fixing something that is broken or beyond repair.

Because even if you are able to glue things back together, the cracks will always remind you of how the damage happened in the first place.

Like material things, sometimes its better to leave a broken relationships as they are and simply move on, especially if your genuine efforts to get things sorted become detrimental to your spirit.

It can be hard but sometimes it is what is best for YOU.

Disclaimer: I have no copyrights to the song and/or video and/or hyperlinks to songs and/or videos and/or gifs above. No copyright infringement intended.

 

 

 

An example of what I have deleted from my music playlists…

Long gone are the days of The Sugarhill Gang …

I have always had a dislike for any music that:

• revolves around excessive profanity,
• makes violence look “normal”; and
• denigrates women (especially those of my shade) with negative stereotypes through lyrics and videos.

My hard earned money will not support any of it, not even the supposed artists clothing lines or overpriced earphones as gifts for my young nieces and nephews.

I used to have a certain level of tolerance in situations out of my control but the older I get, the more I have ZERO tolerance across the board.

And with no shame…

I realized late in life that toxic and negative messaging can slip into your brain like a quiet thief to rob your soul. When the messaging around you is always negative, you start to accept it as “normal” and “true” without even realizing it.

At the hairstylist a few weeks ago, the younger female stylists had videos on Youtube playing as background noise and after watching one too many in the mirror I was facing, I just couldn’t help myself anymore. I asked them if they could switch to something else and they were happy to comply, thinking that I wanted to watch something specific. They asked what I wanted to watch and “Anything is fine as long as I’m not listening to lyrics where I am being called a b*tch, hoe or a golddigger,” was my response just as the owner walked into the room.

Being the same age as me, I quickly realized that the owner and I had the very same perspective the topic of wrong messaging through music and guarding ourselves against it. The owner had even gone so far as to delete certain songs from her playlists…

From the looks on those young women’s faces during our conversation, it was clear that we were providing food for thought that there young minds had been starved of.

Since that conversation, I have taken a page out of my hairstylist’s playbook. Instead of skipping over certain songs in my playlists of over a thousand songs, I have started deleting …kind of like this one I didn’t even realize was in my collection (that I got from a former DJ)…

The chorus? Absolutely disgusting!

What messaging in your environment might you remove from your life in 2019?

Disclaimer: I have no copyrights to the song and/or video and/or hyperlinks to songs and/or videos and/or gifs above. No copyright infringement intended.

 

 

Articles about self-care always suggest that we schedule things we enjoy into our schedules.

To be honest, the few times I tried to do that never worked because I would convince myself that I could get A, B, and C done instead. I’m always been on work, work, work mode.

But recently, for one entire week, I “penciled in” something I enjoyed or needed to do for me everyday and then promised myself to stick to the schedule.

Of course, my definition of fun may not be your definition of fun but these are the things that I actually wrote down in my passion planner and did:

1. slept in until 9am on my day off;
2. went to a just released movie (in an actual cinema) followed by impromptu late lunch by myself;
3. got a manicure that was not my signature style French manicure;
4. got my hair done;
5. went for a massage
6. took 1/2 day to slowly do errands I needed (instead of at breakneck speed); and
7. research and signed up for five courses on CreativeLive.com (not an endorsement, I found them via NaNoWriMo challenge).

I know, I know…some of you are thinking that I seriously need to up my “enjoy” game but this is simply “me”.

I can’t say that is was easy following through on doing these few daily things for myself but I am glad that I did. Now, I’m making it a priority to squeeze something in for “me” daily, even it’s only for 30 minutes.

How often do you “schedule” fun into your life?

Disclaimer: I have no copyrights to the song and/or video and/or hyperlinks to songs and/or videos and/or gifs above. No copyright infringement intended.