Great Sex Requires Effort #sex #love #romance #weekendcoffeeshare

(Repost)

Just enough intensity …anticipating what will happen next …before diving deeper…visualizing just how …

love girl kawaii heart hearts

*This updated post from February 2017 now includes a link to a short scene I wrote*

Rekindling passion was part of my 52 Things In 52 Weeks challenge, that is, my passion for reading.

I signed up for a Kindle Unlimited because I’m always hearing about how writers should read outside of their genre and it seemed the most efficient way to have access to tons of books.

Mind you, I’m guessing my genre of writing fits into “women’s fiction” but I knew that I couldn’t go wrong with choosing books under the “romance” category. Or so I thought…

I think that the definition of “romance” may have changed when I wasn’t looking.

I started and stopped reading a number of books after just a few chapters, either because lots of Easter Eggs and back story were given away within the first few pages or because the book was simply a string of sex scenes strung together by an anemic storyline.

Call me old-fashioned but great sex scenes in a novel require more than sexually explicit words tossed carelessly onto a page. Or a bed.

In my opinion, writing a great sex scene requires effort, patience and some kind of love thrown into the mix in order to give the characters a happy ending.

That pun was totally intended! 🙂

But there was one e-book that had me shaking my head at just how quickly things unfolded and then deflated.

The breakdown of the book?

4% : Female character (FC) tells her boyfriend that she’s pregnant and the boyfriend dumps her.

6%: FC gets upset, storms out, has a minor accident and is helped by a sexy rugged stranger who takes her home because he lives nearby.

11%: FC tells sexy man her entire story and that she is pregnant. There’s a storm brewing so sexy man insists that she stay in his guest room.

13%: FC and sexy man fall into bed. He declares his love for her and tells her that he is ready and willing to love her and her baby.

Really?

All of that at the 13% of the book? Isn’t that a little quick? Where could the rest of the story possibly go?

I was curious enough to speed read through the rest of the 87% so I really can tell you where the rest of the story went:

Spiraling fast downhill until it crashed and burned.

  • No tense sensual build up between the characters.
  • No slow burn towards that first kiss.
  • No flirty moments between the two characters.

Nothing. Nada. Nein.

I’m not looking for the chaste vanilla of the Harlequin romance books my Granny devoured or the BDSM of Fifty Shades of Grey. There’s nothing wrong with themthey just aren’t my preference.

I can do without the 20 different words to describe the same body part and the blow-by-blow accounts of which body part went where and at what frequency…

I like my “romance” with just enough intensity between main characters that leaves me anticipating what will happen next between them. Romantic scenes that make me want to read and reread certain scenes before diving deeper into the book. Visualizing just how a scene would unfold in my mind.

Less is more.

And a little imagination is good for the soul.

Update: When I reread this post, I decided to write a “sexy” short story. Inspired by being on the beach, I started with one sexy scene and worked my way back to drafting a story line.

If you’re interested and over 18+, feel free to take a read via the link below.

*Mature 18+ content warning*

Straight, No Chaser

All Rights Reserved ©2017 Marquessa Matthews.

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Don’t Be A Jerk (2016) #tbt #writerwednesday

Respect usually begets respect and the only place nastiness will get you is…nowhere.

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Your blog is where you express yourself, offer your perspective and invite readers into your world.

When readers agree with you, you feel a sense of satisfaction that they understand what you are saying. And even when readers disagree with you, you’re okay with it because they’ve explained their point of view in a respectful manner.

But what do you do when a reader leaves you a comment telling you that your point of view is wrong, stupid and that you have no idea what you’re talking about?

I was reading a blog where the post was related to “you know what and you know who” and some of the comments from one specific reader were ridiculously rude. I should also add that the blogger was simply giving their perspective in a very non-offensive manner and that it was obvious that the reader did not take the time to read the entire post…

Okay, it’s no surprise that politics, racism, sexism and discrimination against specific groups are topics where people get passionate about getting their point of view across.

But I was astounded at how this blogger choose to keep “engaging” with that reader’s nasty comments and personal attacks…a reader who truly did not fully read the entire post.

Look, everyone has a right to speak their truth, no matter how “alternative” or diametrically opposed it may be to your way of thinking.

But no one has the right to be disrespectful or nasty towards you.

My finger will never hesitate to click on Spam, Trash and/or Block if it disrespects me, another blogger in my comments section, a certain group or an entire community of people.

I don’t know about you but I have no interest in wasting precious time, energy or words to entertain those who are disrespectful towards others.

tamar braxton tamar aint nobody got time for that

http://giphy.com/gifs/tamar-braxton-aint-nobody-got-time-for-that-rX9dPaJHRJt7i

If you disagree with a blogger’s point of view and want to comment, do it in a mindful and respectful way. Use your words in conjunction with your brain and try to clearly explain why you disagree.

If what you read truly gets under your skin, skip to another blog or just “unfollow”.

And if you’re itching to be rude and disrespectful, don’t bother commenting at all. It’s not worth your time arguing with “hate”. Spend that time promoting “love” on your own blog.

Respect usually begets respect and the only place nastiness will get you is…nowhere.

All Rights Reserved ©2017 Marquessa Matthews.

Disclaimer: I have no copyrights to the song and/or video and/or hyperlinks to songs and/or videos and/or gifs above. No copyright infringement intended.

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52 Things In 52 Weeks On Steroids #52things52weeks #simplymarquessa

I didn’t ditch my 52 Things in 52 Weeks.

Well…not completely.

I’ve been tackling them on and off, in a haphazard way and after this post, I’ll be tackling the rest “offline” or as “photos” on Instagram.

I’m no longer finding them “blog-worthy” since many are more “to do”, which is kind of boring, than doing things that are an “experience”.

You know what they say about best laid plans. And since I’m a woman, I’m free to change my mind, right?

Anyhoot, here are a few visuals just to close the loop on a few of the items I had listed and because some of you asked me questions.

My quest for “cleaner” products

The first tiny batch of homemade non-toxic toothpaste I made earlier in the year lasted over two months and made my teeth feel clean – all day. I’m no mathematician but with only three ingredients to make it myself, that two month batch could only have cost me pennies. Yup, pennies!

This is one habit that I will NOT be giving up.

Making my own toothpaste also led me back to my old habit of making my own facial moisturizer with a coconut oil base.

My personal “facial concoctions” keep my face hydrated all day long as opposed to the expensively branded stuff at the beauty counters whose contents I can’t pronounce and that make my face “dry” up hours later.

And while I’m on the topic of coconut oil, I’ve completely switched to cooking with this good fat.

Back to basics…

My desire to purge my baking past

I used to enjoy baking, mainly from scratch and in a time crunch, even the not-as-tasty commercial stuff.

But when I realized that my homemade cheesecakes (I loved “customizing flavors” for personal requests) was costing me the same to make as buying one already done from the fancy pastry store, I stopped.

So those baking days are long gone and these items below were way, way, way past their expiration dates and needed to be tossed.

Resisting the temptation

I also gave away and/or threw out all the not-so-good-for-me crap in my fridge. Then, I scrubbed it down, shelf by shelf. I haven’t seen my fridge this sparkly clean and empty since the day it was bought.

Basically all I have left are containers of protein powder, supergreens and coffee cream. And now that I’m back for a while, the plan is to only buy what I need for the week – nothing more. Prepping and cooking on Sunday for the week is also part of the plan.

Declutter the free and mini-cosmetic clutter

I have a slight addiction to small, tiny things…at least when it comes to cosmetics.

On my first trip to London at the age of four, I fell in love with the mini sized cottled creams, butters and jams as part of the meal served on the plane and I’ve a “thing” ever since. I even remember a few of the mini-soaps “falling into my pocket” back when there was “real” soap in plane bathrooms. 🙂

So you know that’s why, as an adult, I can’t resist or turn down free sample sizes of anything.

But it was time to reduce the amounts I had accumulated. I stopped buying hair and bath products, have been using the samples I have and will buy nothing new until they are used.

Recycle from bits and pieces

I use a small television as a second screen for my laptop but did not feel like spending money on a gadget to prop it up to the higher level. I scrounged around in my garage, found left over pieces of pine from last year’s renovations and voilà! It’s not the prettiest hack but it fits the bill.

When I have time, a few dabs of contractor’s glue and a little spray paint will do the trick!

I’ve surprised myself over the years at how I can recycle and re-purpose stuff I already have or was about to throw out. And no, I can assure you that my place does not look like a second-hand garage sale.

Books, books and more books – research and rereads

I’ve been reading more varied books (short stories, health-related and more non-fiction) for personal knowledge and research for future writing projects. Here are a few visuals:

And below are the books I would like to reread over the short term. There are so many more boxes these are a start!

And as you already know, part of my 52/52 list was to pen a novella and that is what I did thanks to the 2017 A to Z Challenge! Revisions of it are in the works!

If you are interested, I’ll be continuing the others on my Instagram!

Cheers!

 

M xoxo

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Pretending To Be A Tourist In Montreal #52things52weeks #montreal #travel

During the summer, there is a different festival every week, Downtown Montreal feels like New York and Old Montreal feels like Paris…

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I LOVE my city.

Let me rephrase that…I love my city in the spring, fall and especially in the SUMMER.

During the summer, there is a different festival every week, Downtown Montreal feels like New York and Old Montreal feels like Paris. The city has an energy to it and everyone enjoys the season to its fullest after a long cold winter.

For the longest time, I’ve said that one day I would pretend to be tourist in my own city and that’s what I did to cross it off of my 52/52 list.

But I should have waited for summer….

As luck would have it, I needed to spend some loyalty points before I lost them all, so I bought a guided sightseeing tour of Montreal.  My intention was to take lots of pretty pictures and post them here but unfortunately, the day was completely fogged over and pictures were useless.

Aboard a coach bus, a professional guide provided live commentary as they took us through 200 of the top Montreal attractions and landmarks, including Old Montreal, Olympia Park, Chinatown, Notre-Dame Basilica, Mount Royal Park and St Joseph’s Oratory, whose dome reaches 320 feet and is second in height only to St Peter’s basilica in Rome.

Though we could barely see anything through the fog, the real tourists seemed quite charmed by the unique French character of the city. Not the greatest of pictures below but I’ve posted them below anyways.

If you’ve ever wanted to visit Montreal, you should consider doing it this year.

Montreal is coming alive for its 375th birthday with  375 events during 2017!

You can check out more details on the city’s official “birthday” site: 375mtl.com as well as the tourism site:  tourisme-montreal.org .

And because you can’t be in tourist in Montreal without having a smoked meat sandwich….

Images and/or content ©2017 Marquessa Matthews. All Rights Reserved.

Disclaimer: I have no copyrights to the song and/or video and/or hyperlinks to songs and/or videos and/or gifs above. No copyright infringement intended.

Image(s) ©2017 Marquessa Matthews. All Rights Reserved. Save

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Building An Email List #writerslife

I need to build an email list.

That’s the consistent message I’m hearing loud and clear from all the books and blogs I’ve been reading about self-publishing. From what they all say, it’s essential for future marketing, book promotions and giveaways.

And regardless of whether it’s in print or on your own, since it takes a long time to build those kinds of lists, aspiring authors should start long before they think about publishing.

I’ve also been reading how agents want to see aspiring authors with a certain level of followers on different social media platforms.

Like I said at the beginning of my WordPress journey, I wasn’t interested in the number of followers I had. But I guess that if I want to increase my chances for success as a writer, I have no choice to get more interested in “numbers”.

So I’m starting now.

You may have noticed a few changes:

  • the Mailchimp pop-ups to sign up for my mailing list and
  • that I’m signing off on my fiction posts with a “click here to sign up” , “If you liked this piece and want to see more like it, please click on “Like” and/or “Comment” and share with others who would also enjoy it” or
  • a combination of the two.

If you’d like to sign up, please do. I promise not to bombard you with a deluge of emails.

And over the next few months, I’ll be posting a variety of “Tell A Friend”, “Please Like My Facebook Page“, “Follow Me On Twitter” posts.

When you see these, I’m hoping that you will sign up for my different “calls to action” to help me on my journey to being an author!

Cheers!

M  xoxo

All Rights Reserved ©2017 Marquessa Matthews.


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What Now Wattpad? #52things52weeks #simplymarquessa #wattpad

we-cant-be-friends

I tackled 2 easy items on my 52 Things In 52 Weeks list before I start a number of mini 7, 14, 21 and 30 day challenges…

I uploaded “Two Can Play That Game” and the first installment of “We Can’t Be Friends” to Wattpad.wattpad_cover

I had no clue that I had to develop a cover for each of these but I’m happy that I learned something new.

But now that the stories are up, I’m not sure what I’m supposed to do…

Am I simply waiting to see how many Wattpad readers stumble across it?

Do you have anything posted on Wattpad?  If so, do you have any tips to provide? 

All Rights Reserved ©2017 Marquessa Matthews.

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Shake The Room #52things52weeks #simplymarquessa #speakup

If you don’t ask for what you want, who will do it for you?

Shake The Room

The older I get, the less I care about holding my tongue, especially when it comes to “me” these days.

Strangely enough, growing up, I never hesitated to defend the underdog or speak up for those who couldn’t or wouldn’t do it for themselves. It was part of DNA. But when it concerned me, that wouldn’t always be the case.

But during my last trip, I realized just how long gone those days are.

Being a last minute decision to tag along to a friend’s conference, the research I did on the resort was quick and dirty but enough to add a few requests onto the reservation – a room not located next to an elevator or ice machine and no view of the parking lot, if possible. From the reviews on Trip Advisor, I knew that an upgrade to an ocean view room was next to impossible.

We couldn’t check in until 3PM so we killed 3 hours taking pictures, having coffee and simply chilling out. At check in and as part of friendly conversation with the young lady at the front desk, I mentioned the requests we had made and asked if the room had a garden view. She nodded and gave us half a smile before handing us our keys.

Before we could swipe our key to get into the room, we noticed the service elevator right next to the room.

Hmmm, okay.

Then a few kids whizzed past us with ice buckets in their hands and that’s when we noticed an ice machine directly behind us.

Whirrrr…whirrr..bang…bang sang the ice machine until their buckets were full.

Hmmm, not good.

Knowing that Murphy’s Law never stops at two, as soon as we got into the room, I made my way to the balcony and pulled the curtains back to enjoy this view.

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Not only was this lovely concrete monstrosity in the way but we could the conversations of everyone walking back and forth under that structure as clear as day from our balcony.

My first reaction was disappointment. I’m in Maui and this is the view I’m going to enjoy while having an early morning coffee and writing?

My second reaction was annoyance. Okay, technically the view wasn’t of the parking lot I’d read about but really? Why couldn’t the front desk agent have said something?

My third reaction was resignation and trying to convince myself to go with the flow. I’m in Maui. How much time am I really going to spend in the room anyways?

Then I remembered the half-smile from the front desk agent when I asked about the view and that’s when it hit me – she knew exactly which view we were getting.

And that’s when I got angry with myself for even considering letting it go. If this had been about a friend of mine, I would have been the first to say, “ask them for a room change and don’t take no for answer”.

Nope. This was not how the next 7 days were going to go down.

It was time to shake the room.

I called the front desk, politely explained the situation and asked for the possibility of another room.

“Oh, we are so sorry about that but the hotel is fully booked. Maybe we could see what is available tomorrow?” is what she said.

But what I heard was, “Go ahead and unpack because by tomorrow, you won’t be interested in wasting time, repacking and moving rooms after settling in.”

Uh, no.

I took a deep breath. “No, that doesn’t work for me. I’ll be at the front desk in 5 minutes.”

I snapped a photo of the view and headed back. Before we could even rejoin the check-in line, the same front desk agent ushered us to her.

Before she could start talking, I preempted her.

“I fully understand that requests are not guaranteed but the resort struck out on all 3 requests. No view of the parking lot translates to a room with a decent view.”

“We apologize for that but with the conference, the resort is fully booked. Like I mentioned, maybe tomorrow….” she tried to say.

I lowered my voice and leaned on the desk that separated us.

“I don’t want to interrupt you but …there are 2 things that I’d like you to keep in mind before you continue. One, my friend and I had no problem waiting 3 hours to check in and that is what we did – we checked in at exactly 3PM. Right now, it’s only 3:15PM. Are you saying that all other guests expected today checked in during the last 15 minutes and because they have, it’s impossible for you to assign us another room?”

I think that the combination of my politeness, my question and my smile threw her for a loop because there was silence from her.

Crickets.

And the other two front desk agents glanced over curiously, waiting for her response.

“Two, my friend and I traveled 15 hours to get here and the least we can get is a decent view of this beautiful island from the balcony. We never expected an ocean view but would you like to have this view for the next 7 days?”

I showed her the photo I’d taken on my cell and she couldn’t hide her surprise.

Crickets again.

At that point, my friend simply walked away.

Silence as she punched at her keyboard.

Within seconds, I had new keys in my grasp and I was thanking her for her help. I think she realized that I would have no shame in returning to the front desk again if I had to again.

As we walked away, my friend whispered, “That poor girl never had a chance, did she?”

No, the poor girl didn’t have a chance.

What is the point of this long-winded post?

When it comes to other people, we often don’t have a problem going all out for them but when it concerns ourselves, we hold back or think twice.

But sometimes you’ve got to shake things up for yourself. There’s no harm in asking for what you want or saying that you’re not happy with a situation and in most situations, being polite, diplomatic, reasonable and firm will go far.

If you don’t ask for what you want, who will do it for you?

And if in the end, you are still told no or things remain unchanged, at least you would have tried, right?

Side-note: Granted, we didn’t spend a lot of time in the room but when we did, at least this was the view.

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Images and content ©2017 Marquessa Matthews. All Rights Reserved.


Disclaimer: I have no copyrights to the song and/or video and/or hyperlinks to songs and/or videos directly above. No copyright infringement intended.

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