When love feels too good to be true, it could very well be that it isn’t true at all.
The Prince Charming, his compliments, thoughtful gifts and flowers can feel oh-so-good until the “love” becomes jealous and controlling.
Love is not controlling and being controlling is not love.
Such powerful and truthful words.
We are quick to turn a blind eye and give second chances to people who don’t deserve our time, energy and attention.
We often accept and tolerate hateful words, malicious behavior and utter foolishness for the sake of what we think is “love” when it is really a form of abuse.
Love does not feed on chaos and dark energy. Love should not leave you feeling hollow and empty.
Actions speak louder than words and behaviour never lies. So yes, “when someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time”.
*REPOST* – I will be reposting certain pieces from my “Breaking The Mirror” story over the next few weeks
I always try my best to bring a certain level of realism to my fiction.
So when I speak about domestic abuse, I often do it in a slightly subtle way. I want you to think about situations you have experienced or that someone close may have confided to you. And from the comments I’ve received on past fiction, many of you know the signs…
The way he accuses you of lying when you simply forget to mention something trivial, how he thinks he has the right to comb through your text messages and web browser history, the third degree you get if you are a few minutes late, how he tells you that no other man will ever want you and best of all, how he purposely creates unnecessary conflict to alienate you from your loved ones…
Those are just a few of the red flags.
A while back, watching a Grey’s Anatomy episode (Season 14, episode “1-800-799-7233”) and a powerful scene where Joe warns a woman to stay away from her ex, it reminded me of my “Woman to Woman” piece (which I re-titled for a challenge at Christmas).
My fiction piece may not be as riveting as the Grey’s scene below but the message is the same: “When your man’s former flame warns you and she has nothing to gain, listen very closely with both ears, walk away and don’t look back. Because you deserve better.”
Disclaimer: I have no copyrights to the song and/or video and/or hyperlinks to songs and/or videos and/or gifs below. No copyright infringement intended. I simply want to bring attention to domestic abuse and how important it is to listen to other women’s warnings.
Time for a break!
While I’m away from this space doing stuff and catching up on your posts, I will…
- repost an old fiction mini-series starting this Friday (which will be new for new followers). Delaney and Tyler are the next characters I’ll be delving into after my edits to “Breaking The Mirror” and “Living To Die“;
- be scarce on Twitter and Facebook (but that’s really no different than usually);
- more active on Instagram with random photos of what boring things I’m getting into;
- reblogging YOUR posts here and there.
You can also find me on “Spilling Lemonade“, my non-fiction space where I write about random things related to “leveling up”, being 40-something, single, a woman, Black and the intersectionality it all.
I’m liking the real and casual randomness of that space and if you’ve been following my fiction for a while, you’ll see that it’s the “real and random” that fuels my fiction ideas.
And best of all about taking a break, I’m looking forward to preparing for some weekend warrior gardening!
As promised, below is a sneak peek of all the A to Z Challenge “words” that I’ll be using during the challenge.
“A” is for “Afflicted“ will post tomorrow evening March 31 at 19h00 to synchronize with the time zones involved. No promises but I’ll also try posting the graphics on Instagram if I can keep up! 🙂
If you like my A to Z Challenge posts, please share with a friend who may need to “think” about some of the messages I plan on addressing under that “Power and Control” theme.
I will also be using the #IfMyWoundsWereVisible hashtag I discovered during my research about the subject matter.
I hope that you enjoy it and that you will provide your feedback. Like I said before, I will likely convert these posts into a larger fiction project or incorporate the character into another fiction piece.
I missed you!
But it’s been a good hiatus.
Taking time away and not posting so much is a great way to refocus and reposition. I’ve been in and out of your blogs, your A to Z Challenge Theme reveals and I’ve been enjoying “reading” and “commenting” instead of “posting”.
I’ll be staying on hiatus from daily posting for quite a while longer, except for my upcoming A to Z Challenge.
I had wanted to write my 26 posts ahead of time but I got “stuck” at “G” for a while and it wasn’t due to writer’s block. I didn’t think that tackling my Power & Control theme would take me back to a darker frame of mind that I had long packed away.
But it did and that’s when I realized that I’ll need to do a future rewrite these 26 posts into a much larger piece to illustrate more of the red flags of this subject matter, maybe for Domestic Abuse awareness month.
I’ll do my best to stay on schedule.
Moving on…here are a few things about my A to Z Challenge.
On Friday March 30, I’ll be posting a sneak peek of all the “A to Z” words I’ll be using for the challenge.
On Saturday March 31 and to keep up with the time zones involved and other logistics, my “A” will posted around 19h00 EST as will be all my other alphabet posts.
By the way, if you like my A to Z posts, please feel free to share on your social media, especially if you have a friend who may need to “think” about that “Power and Control” theme I’m tackling.
That’s it for now folks!
See you Friday March 30th for my A to Z Challenge “word” reveal.
Yes, I apologize to my email subscribers for not been keeping up with them over the past few months.
When life takes over, certain things have to be put aside, right?
On that note, I’ll keep it brief.
I sent out a newsletter to my email subscribers today so be sure to check your email inbox. There is an update on what I have been up to and what I’m planning for the next few months. In the newsletter, I also included a little “tease” to the first installment of my “A” in the upcoming A to Z Challenge that I have started working on.
Though the official A to Z Challenge reveal is not until March 19th, I will say that what I’m challenging myself to write fiction revolving around the wheel further below.
If you are intrigued and interested in some advance “teasers” through my newsletter, you can sign up for my email list here.
All Rights Reserved ©2018 Marquessa Matthews
Graphic found at and credit to: domesticviolence.org/violence-wheel/
Disclaimer: I have no copyrights to the song and/or video and/or hyperlinks to songs and/or videos and/or gifs above. No copyright infringement intended.