Garbage

“What kind of garbage is this?”

When I was 15, I made the mistake of sharing a short story I had written for my high school English class with someone close to me and those were the exact words that stuck to me like glue.

The pride I felt about the story I had written disappeared like a puff of smoke in the wind. I was completely embarrassed and simply wanted the floor to open and swallow me up. That was the day that I learned to never share my writing with anyone unless it was for an assignment or my own personal and creative enjoyment.

The me back then wasn’t able to brush it off or formulate a witty response to counter that negativity. I simply took the hit and allowed my feelings to get hurt. I never even thought about taking the grade I got for that assignment and shoving it into that person’s face because I allowed that negativity to steal the joy from me:

Of course, the me of years later would have reacted A LOT differently with that person.

Though the me of today would have a laundry list of slick yet bitchy comebacks, I wouldn’t even bother wasting any of them such negativity and neither should you.

If you love to write and/or blog, who cares what others think about it?

It doesn’t matter who thinks your writing or your blog is read-worthy.

It doesn’t matter if you only write or blog sporadically.

It doesn’t even matter if someone leaves a negative comment on your space.

Forget the haters.

What matters is that YOU are enjoying your writing and/or blogging.

And that is truly the only thing that really matters.

Bisous,

M

 

 

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When All You Need Is To Fu*k It Out

I’m back and I deserve a round of applause for lasting out this long!

I didn’t post a darn thing on this blog like I said I would and I surprised myself.

I also didn’t write anything offline.

No flash fiction, no editing, no outlines…Just plain old nothing. The most I did was jot ideas down onto Post-Its and stick them on my writing wall for future reference.

In order to get out of my not-so-great mood, I decided to immerse myself deeper into the funk until I found myself sick and tired of feeling sick and tired.

Sounds counter-intuitive but that’s what I did.

I tried to enjoy more of this on the weekends…

I failed miserably at doing any of this…

And I was very successful in doing way, way, way too much of this…

But it’s all good.

Because like a slice of hot apple pie topped with some chocolate fudge ice cream, the writing/blogging break has made me a little hungry to get writing again.

Tell me, when was the last time that you simply took a writing break?

Bisous,

M

 

 

 

 

 

Being Authentic Online

Photo credit: DJOtaku via Foter.com / CC BY-NC-SA

My fear of being authentic on this blog died a long time ago.

After some trial and error, making choices about what I would and not write about and being cautious in general, I’m as authentic as I can be in this space, though:

  • I don’t write about my work life;
  • I limit what I share about my family; and
  • I wait and breathe before writing about current events that get deep under my skin, if I write about them at all (though recent currents events make my fingertips itch.

But I was thinking…

Can a writer truly be authentic if they have to place limits on what they say?

Then, I came across the answer in this TinyBuddha article:

“Authenticity doesn’t have to mean complete transparency, but it does mean acknowledging what you really think and feel. Very rarely does a person think and feel only things that align with a polished online persona.”

Well, I’m not interested in having “a polished online persona”, at least, not at this point in time.

I’ll just continue striving for “authenticity” by sharing the times when my inner voice escapes my lips, I suffer from episodes of midnight madness or when I invite you to take a seat with me at the family dinner table.

For you writers and bloggers, how authentic do you feel you can be online? 

All Rights Reserved ©2017-2018 Marquessa Matthews

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How Long Have You Gone Without Doing It?

Photo credit: agahran via Foter.com / CC BY

(Updated repost)

Actually, I’m totally not blogging this…

For years, I posted daily and even had a blogging schedule.

Those days are gone.

Right now I’m just going with the flow.

Whatever.

Whenever.

Random.

Not-so-random revamped posts.

I’m no longer obsessed with having a blogging “streak”.

What’s the longest you’ve gone without writing creatively or blogging?

M  xoxo

 

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Don’t Be A Jerk

no nope nah black girls black girl

http://giphy.com/gifs/blackgirlmagic-mhp-melissa-harris-perry-3oEjHYuwHzWUW4uses

Your blog is where you express yourself, offer your perspective and invite readers into your world.

When readers agree with you, you feel a sense of satisfaction that they understand what you are saying. And even when readers disagree with you, you’re okay with it because they’ve explained their point of view in a respectful manner.

But what do you do when a reader leaves you a comment telling you that your point of view is wrong, stupid and that you have no idea what you’re talking about?

I was reading a blog where the post was related to “you know what and you know who” and some of the comments from one specific reader were ridiculously rude. I should also add that the blogger was simply giving their perspective in a very non-offensive manner and that it was obvious that the reader did not take the time to read the entire post…

Okay, it’s no surprise that politics, racism, sexism and discrimination against specific groups are topics where people get passionate about getting their point of view across.

But I was astounded at how this blogger choose to keep “engaging” with that reader’s nasty comments and personal attacks…a reader who truly did not fully read the entire post.

Look, everyone has a right to speak their truth, no matter how “alternative” or diametrically opposed it may be to your way of thinking.

But no one has the right to be disrespectful or nasty towards you.

My finger will never hesitate to click on Spam, Trash and/or Block if a comment disrespects me, another blogger in my comments section, a certain group or an entire community of people.

I don’t know about you but I have no interest in wasting precious time, energy or words to entertain those who are disrespectful towards others.

tamar braxton tamar aint nobody got time for that

http://giphy.com/gifs/tamar-braxton-aint-nobody-got-time-for-that-rX9dPaJHRJt7i

If you disagree with a blogger’s point of view and want to comment, do it in a mindful and respectful way. Use your words in conjunction with your brain and try to clearly explain why you disagree.

If what you read truly gets under your skin, skip to another blog or just “unfollow”.

And if you’re itching to be rude and disrespectful, don’t bother commenting at all. It’s not worth your time arguing with “hate”. Spend that time promoting “love” on your own blog.

Respect usually begets respect and the only place nastiness will get you is nowhere.

Have you ever had that experience on your blog?

All Rights Reserved ©2017 Marquessa Matthews.

Disclaimer: I have no copyrights to the song and/or video and/or hyperlinks to songs and/or videos and/or gifs above. No copyright infringement intended.

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The Bots Among Us

I always knew that I had bots.

“Bots” as in spam comments that usually end up in my Junk folder where they belong.

But what’s up with the bots that inflate my number of followers?

I supposedly “lost” 1000 followers while I was away.

Yeah, 1000.

Months ago, I was constantly getting notifications about new followers and wondered how these “readers” were finding me when I wasn’t doing anything different than usual. I simply went about my business because I don’t really care about numbers.

But I still don’t understand the “why” behind fake followers.

Do they hope that I follow back without checking them out first? Will they eventually try to sell me something? Is it a creepy way to get into my electronic device?

Do you know what’s up with fake followers?

Don’t get me wrong. I’m happy that 1000 fakes are out of my hair.

I mean, I only want to interact and attract real living people, like readers and friends who want to follow my musings, sign up for my email list and eventually read what I self-publish.

Bots can’t do any of those things…

As a writer, does it bother you to see your number of followers drop? And as a reader, are you influenced by the number of followers a blog has?

Bisous,

M

 

 

How Addicted Are You To Blogging? #writerwednesday

addicted to blogging

Photo credit: bernissimo / Foter / CC BY-NC-ND

Dear New Friends and Old Blogging Friends,

Like I mentioned in a previous post, the “pull” of blogging and networking is addictive. Making new friends, reading each others’ posts, the instant gratification of feedback…yes, it’s all very addictive.

How addicted are you to blogging? And if you’ve been blogging for years, do you fear that you will eventually run out of words?

Share with me in the comments section.

©2018 Marquessa Matthews. All Rights Reserved. (Updated from 2015)