I knew that this would happen but is was worth a shot.

I was hoping that I could take a few minutes pre-bedtime every night to participate in Bloganuary as a mini-distraction to destress my mind.

But deep down I knew that I would be ducking out early.

After almost 8 months of round the clock caregiving, the chapter that I have been living is coming to an end and I need to be present for every moment that is left of it.

When things settle down and when I need some quieter moments, I will double back and enjoy what other partipants have posted.

See you in a while.

M xoxo

I would LOVE the ability to time-travel.

You know, travel back in time, undo certain actions that specific ancestors took that ended up having a direct impact on my life.

The pandemic has been a great revealer on so many levels, especially when it comes to generational trauma and secrets.

I won’t go into further details but I am sure that many of you have discovered a bunch of things you never knew about the people close to you during this pandemic.

I’m not sure if I would say that I a “passionate” but there are causes that I support and that are very important to me.

Endometriosis awareness: I spent years being misdiagnosed because I did not fit the textbook case of being a White middle-aged childless career woman so when I educated myself and knew just as much as doctors back in the day, I made sure to share my experience and knowledge with those around me. I also serve as a member on an Endo Board.

Supporting cancer: I have always supported cancer research and now that my father is ill, it has become even more important to me. When the dust settles, my plan is to volunteer my time to others for respite care.

Alzheimer research: These days, every one I know is or has been hit by this horrid disease and I make monthly contributions.

If I ever get back my fiction writing mojo, I would love to incorporate the above into my stories and have readers donate to these causes.

Don’t wait around while others treat you as an option. Treat yourself as a priority – always.

I wrote a little piece a while back about it – “One in a million”

Oh my…

There are plenty of examples I could write to answer this question.

Instead, I will drop a link to a fictional piece that was based in fact – “Gone“.

I think that the piece is self-explanatory.

My idea of an “ideal” day has changed over the years and especially these days.

My previous ideal day used to involve an oceanview close enough to hear the waves beach, a few trashy novels and being far enough away from home that I could not be sucked into errands or OPPs (Other People’s Priorities).

These days, my ideal day would be one where I can get a good night’s sleep without obsessing about what life will look like in the near future after my father is no longer here.

I’m just being honest…

These days, the above emoji has completely replaced the smiley face ones I used to use a lot.

Most days, I am running on fumes so my brain is not processing as it should. Hence, if you text me anything beyond “how are you?”, I will likely send you this emoji.

Actually, ask me anything by text these days and you will get this emoji.

It works well for me because it lets others know that I don’t really want to talk, especially my current situation. It’s hard to talk to others who have never provided care to someone ill and dying – they just don’t get it and I no longer have patience for the things they say without thinking.