“W” is for “Wicked”


I don’t even know where to begin so I’ll start where it makes sense.

But to be honest, it was such a whirlwind – you may need to get yourself a box of wine and a few bags of chips. That’s what I have with me right now as I type this out…

Remember that girl Gaby, the one who drove me home from the clinic?

Well, from out of the blue, she called asking how I was doing and how I was coping. Since I was at work, I couldn’t talk freely but in a way, that was a good thing. I felt totally weird and embarrassed at how I had unloaded such heavy and personal issues on her that day – a total stranger. After our pleasantries, Gaby asked if I’d had any more issues with Dex. I told her that I hadn’t seen him since the incident and that he even had a new girlfriend. I was shocked when she asked me if his girlfriend was “Becky”. I was even more shocked when she said that Becky was a regular at her eatery and that she had personally witnessed the two of them in a huge public argument at her establishment.

I know what you are thinking. How did Gaby recognize Dex?

Like you, I didn’t remember that I had shown her a photo of Dex when I groggy after the clinic so she did know what he looked like. And when Gaby had left me her card, I had slipped it into my wallet without taking a good look at her credentials. As Gaby told how Becky had gone ballistic on Dex, I quickly fished it out of my wallet and lo and behold, Gaby’s card did list her as the owner of that pretentious vegan hangout I had met Becky at months before.

Was that a coincidence?

I don’t believe in coincidences anymore. No, it was more like fate.

Without even asking, Gaby told me blow by blow how Becky had accused Dex of lying and cheating on her. Then right before slapping him and storming, she had wished him dead. I was speechless. Gaby warned me to be on the lookout for Dex’s return from the dead because men like him were like vampires looking to feed again.

Vampire. That was the word she used, not mine. I never told anyone about my vampire dream. Like I said, no coincidences. Before we hung up, we promised to keep in touch.

I don’t need to tell you that I immediately wanted to tell Sam what I had heard but I couldn’t. She knew nothing about my visit to the clinic or meeting Gaby. I had to keep the information to myself.

But then the next crazy thing happened. A few days later, Becky reached out to me.

Can you imagine that?

At first, she emailed asking if we could meet and I gave her my one word response – NO. Been there, done that.

But she wasn’t taking no for an answer. Since we worked in the same building, she totally ambushed me at my desk so that I couldn’t ignore her. We took ourselves out into the hallway away from curious ears and this time around, I was the unpleasant bitch.

This is how the conversation went:

“What do you want?”

“So…yeah…Dex is cheating on me. Is he back with you?” I folded my arms and refused to dignify her question with an answer. “Uh, yeah…I’ll take that as a no. It’s what I thought.” Then she got quiet for a moment and folded her own arms. “You were right about him. He’s a fucking liar.”

Yeah, maybe Becky had smartened up but I wasn’t about to start commiserating with her. Her entire personality and vibe as a person just wreaked of toxicity.

“If you stay with him, you’ll realize that he’s more than just a liar – if you haven’t figure it out already.” I wasn’t about to say anything more than that. “If that’s all you wanted to say Becky, I have work to do.” I started to walk away and she held me back by my arm.

“Uh…sorry about how I acted… you know…before. But I swear to God, I’m going to make him pay…”

I walked away without accepting her apology and not interested in her dreams about payback. I was done. Done with Dex, done with her, done with anything and anyone associated to his sick world.

But just like Gaby had warned, Dex wasn’t done with me.

Texts from him started blowing up my cell a few days after Becky’s chat with me. It started with a “Hey” to “Hope you are ok” and quickly progressed to “Still thinking of you” to “We loved each other once, we could still at least be civil, can’t we?”…none of which I ever responded to.

I had the “No Contact” rule on full blast and would never slip again. I had finally broken the mirror and left him with seven years of bad luck. Or so I thought…

Dex resorted to calling and eventually left me a voice message that I ignored. I left that message notification hanging on my cell screen for days, not interested enough to even access it for deletion. To be honest, I actually forgot about it until a hysterical and crying Becky called to break the news to me.

“Oh my God Cara! Dex is dead! They found him dead in his apartment!”

All of my breath left my body. The office walls started to close in on me and the room started to spin. Before blackness took over my sight, I managed to ask her how.

And the two words I heard her whisper before I fainted were these:

“Anaphylactic shock…”

Yeah, I know what you were thinking because so was I.

But I swear to God, it wasn’t my fault. It really wasn’t.

Wicked is as wicked does…


Continuation: X is for “eX-files”

All Rights Reserved ©2018 Marquessa Matthews. a.

“O” is for “Obsessed”

Photo by Andrea Piacquadio on Pexels.com


Yeah, you heard me right yesterday.

Just like that Dex stopped calling, texting and emailing.

Dead silence.

I already know what you are all thinking…

You’re thinking that I should have been sooooo happy to be left alone, right? But since I’m being brutally honest with you, I’ll admit that I wasn’t happy. Not in the least. I wasn’t overjoyed that Dex had finally left me alone – I found myself festering between sadness and anger. Instead of taking his lack of communication as a blessing, I became obsessed thinking about him all the time twenty-four hours a day seven days a week. And I really hate to admit it but I missed Dex more than I ever did before.

I missed coming home to an empty condo after a day at work even more, how we would sometimes cook dinner together or decide to go out for dinner and a movie on the spur of the moment, the comfort of his warm body next to mine in bed. I didn’t think that I could feel more alone that I already was but I felt lonelier than lonely. Lonely enough to think about blocking my number and calling his cell, just to hear his voice and hang up on him. Lonely enough to think about driving the long way home past his apartment building at the off chance that I might see him getting out of his car. I wanted to but I didn’t do any of those things but I’m just trying to tell you that’s how shitty and alone I felt.

But what was way worse were the questions in my mind that consumed me. Questions that made me cry when I was alone. Questions that refused to let me sleep, eat and concentrate at work…

Almost a year together and he only makes an effort for four weeks to get me back?
Did I even really mean anything to him?
Had he stopped thinking about me already?
Was his silence a ploy to make me wonder what he was doing?
Had he finally smartened up and was feeling remorseful enough to respect my wishes to not call me?
Was I really missing him or was I missing the adrenaline rush of the rollercoaster we had been on together?
Were our bad times, really that bad?

I know, I know but I told you that I was obsessed by those thoughts and feelings.

Was Kaley right? Did he already have another woman waiting in the wings ready and willing to replace me?

I won’t fool you. Just the thought of him with another woman made me jealous. I couldn’t to think that I had spent almost a year of my life being there and helping him become a better man, only to have some bitch reap all the benefits of my sweat and tears? I was jealous enough to stakeout his apartment one night when I thought I would get a glimpse of him driving into the parking area of his building but he never did, which simply solidified the fact that he was likely out and about town having fun without me and without a care in the world.

You know me well enough to guess that I never told Sam or Kaley about that stakeout or all the many nights I lay in bed, staring at the ceiling just wondering how I had gotten myself into this mess. I couldn’t let them know my level of my “crazy” when they had both been so supportive.

But as luck would have it, almost three weeks to the day that Dex had stopped calling, one of my burning questions was answered loud and clear. Actually, it had nothing to do with luck.

The answer came straight from Dex himself in a way I never expected but was likely all part of his plan.

I’m tired now. I’ll continue this tomorrow.


Continuation: P is for “Plan”

All Rights Reserved ©2018 Marquessa Matthews. 

“G” is for “Gaslight”

Photo by Keira Burton on Pexels.com


I don’t remember how I managed to scream and hold my breath at the same time but I did.

At the last moment, Dex veered away from the median and slowed the car down to a more reasonable speed. But I was freaked out and all I wanted do was vomit.

“Stop the car! I’m going to be sick! Stop the car!”

Dex cursed at me under his breath, exited the highway and pulled off to the side of the road. I stumbled out and vomited all of the finger foods I had eaten into the grass, not even caring that I had soiled the front of my white blouse. I caught my breath, wiped my mouth against my sleeve and tried to take a deep breath to stop from heaving again.

As soon as the sensation passed, I grabbed my purse from the car and started storming away along the side of the road, the only thought going through my mind was that this entire incident couldn’t be happening.

“Cara! Get the fuck back here! Get in the car!”

Dex jogged up next to me and grabbed my arm.

“Let me go!” I yelled but he wouldn’t let me go and in my heels, I didn’t have much leverage against him.

“Get back in the car…”

I kicked off my heels to regain my balance and managed to wrench my arm free just as a car slowed down and pulled up behind us. An older women rolled her window down, looking alarmed, scared and with her cell at the ready.

“Miss! What’s going on? Do you need us to call the police?” the woman inquired. What looked like her husband sat n the driver’s seat and I could clearly see that his hand was firmly placed on her arm so that she couldn’t think about exiting the car into possible danger.

On the verge of crying, I couldn’t say a word until she looked at Dex and said, “I’m calling 911 and the police!”

The terrified look on Dex’s face jarred him into action. “Ma’am, there is no need for police or 911. We were just having a lover’s spat! Right Cara?” His eyes begged me to agree with him. Getting the police involved wasn’t going to help the situation. I still couldn’t find my words so I shook my head in agreement but she wasn’t satisfied.

“Sorry Miss but if you don’t get in the car and leave with us right now, I will call make those calls. I’m not kidding.”

This old lady was all business so I grabbed my heels and purse from the ground. Refusing to look at him as I slid into the back seat of their vehicle, I secretly breathed a sigh of relief. But she wasn’t finished with Dex.

“And you? Manhandling a woman like that is assault! I took a photo of your license plate as we pulled up so if I need to, I’m prepared to be give an official statement to the police if I need to. Let’s go!”

As the strangers pulled away from the side of the road, I finally looked at Dex standing and at a loss.

“Miss? Are you sure that you are okay? We can take you to the police station,” were the next words out the woman’s mouth.

“No. I just want to go home.”

The woman undid her seat belt to veer herself around, took a good look at me and then put her seat belt back on.

“Okay, fine. But I hope against hope that I don’t see your pretty face on the news one of these days.”

As I gave them the coordinates to my condo, I felt my cell vibrate and already knew who it was.

I’m drunk. I’m sorry. If you hadn’t spent all that time talking to that guy, I wouldn’t have gotten jealous. I’m sorry.

I reread his text a few times before texting him back – I don’t care.

I love you! I was mad. It won’t happen again!

The need to vomit came over me again but I had to hold out being in this stranger’s car.

I texted back – Leave me alone.

But I’ll never be able to do that. I love you too much to do it again Cara.

Was I crazy enough to believe him?

I think you know the answer to my question…


All Rights Reserved ©2018 Marquessa Matthews. 

The Aftermath of Zen

The story is all “storied” out!

But there is an EPILOGUE to tie up loose ends and reveal an “Easter egg” or two that were subtle in the story if you are on my email list.

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But at least give me brownie points for being honest!

Since I already have your attention, I have nothing to lose by asking you to sign up, right?

Shameless, I know…


If you liked this A to Z Challenge story, want to know how more about Dex’s demise really died and how the Epipen was involved, sign up to receive the password to access the Epilogue 🙂

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Until then…


M xoxo