james, it wasn’t meant to be

Dear James,

I guess we were never meant to be.

For almost 30 years, it has been a one-sided relationship of me chasing you.

Whenever you were in my neck of the woods or within a few hours of driving distance, I was always out of the country or unable to disentangle myself from important prior committments.

On other occasions, you quietly (and maybe purposely) snuck into town under my radar, likely knowing that I was getting older and too busy to keep track of your whereabouts.

I was ecstatic when I finally cornered you for a date in April 2020 but the pandemic had other plans.

Our date has been postponed three times already and five months is a long time to wait around to possibly be rejected by you again so though it pained me…

I am rejecting you this time around.

Truth be told, I don’t love you enough to feel weirded out by mingling in a large venue with so many people breathing on and around me.

So James, I won’t be chasing you anymore. If the two of us are meant to meet one day, it will be what it will be.