(Repost)

Being Black is only a part of who I am.

I’m a woman.

I’m a Black woman.

I’m a Black woman of South American heritage.

I’m a Black woman of South American heritage in her forties. I’m a professional Black woman of South American heritage in her forties.

I’m a professional Black woman of South American heritage in her forties who writes and aspires to publish the kind of stories that I think are beautiful too…

I’m all of the above and according to Chaka Khan, I’m every woman.

Naturally, some of my fiction writing is infused with my experiences as an individual who is all of the above and so much more.

But my writing is also not limited to the above.

As a storyteller, I write to themes anyone should be able to relate and though some of my main characters may not always resemble the ones that are still considered “more mainstream”, themes of love, fear, rejection and hate are universal.

My goal is and will always be about being as “inclusive” as I can authentically be in my stories.

If along the journey some readers don’t appreciate when I blog about issues of representation, diversity, and inclusion, I can’t do anything about it.

I’m just going to keep on walking and doing what I do.

This is my list of the top ten things I learned before I was 10 and then spent years trying to unlearn:

1. You can’t be smart and pretty at the same time – make a choice and move on;
2. Only blond-haired blue-eyed girls are pretty;
3. Everyone else’s feelings are more important than yours;
4. When you share your passion for something and you’re laughed at for it, don’t ever “share” again;
5. You’re a geek if you enjoy reading lots of books or prefer books to “hanging out” doing nothing with people;
6. If someone has negative things to say about you, believe them because it must be true;
7. When your instincts tell you that a situation doesn’t feel right, keep it to yourself;
8. Do what is expected and you will eventually learn to live with it;
9. Crying is a sign of total weakness that gets you nowhere – just suck it up; and
10. If you do the same thing over and over again, maybe you’ll get a different result.

What were some of the “truths” you tried to unlearn as an adult?

©2015 Marquessa Matthews. All Rights Reserved.

I’m on social media to learn the few ins and outs because of my author aspirations. I’m also around to follow other indie writers, indie artists and all around awesome people whose work I admire.

And over the few years that I’ve been social media, I’ve made a number of online friends with whom I chat on different social media platforms. You know, emails or DMs about regular stuff like the craft of writing, fiction writing, travel, work, that hot guy on Hawaii Five-O celebrities…regular stuff.

I also exchange one-on-one quite a bit with those on my newsletter list too.

It’s one thing to get “helllloooooo cutie” and “how you doing?” from creepy-ish guys that I don’t know. No go, no thanks.

But what I don’t understand are guys that I’ve already exchanged with who start off as “okay” with funny and maybe off-color jokes but then quickly slip into the risqué zone and then nose dive into the “hell no” category.

It’s almost as if these guys were simply waiting for the perfect opportunity to take the conversation in a totally different direction.

Funny enough, a blogger friend of mine was recently surprised by a d*ckpick from a fellow blogger she had been DMing with for a long while.

Of course, after the shock wore off, she blocked him but not before sending him this GIF:

I fully understand that people are online for all sorts of different reasons and I’m not judging.

All I’m saying is that like most of us who are online, I’m here for the fun and friendly banter of it all, while trying to avoid the creepier stuff. That’s it, that’s all.

And even if you look like the spitting image of this draw-dropping specimen of a man below, I still wouldn’t want him to send me a d*ckpick…

Bisous,

M xoxo

38 centimeters and still counting but at least we knew it was coming.

School and daycare cancellations were announced since yesterday. Workplaces strongly suggested that people work from home if possible. Radio stations warned listeners to stay in.

And all of this before snow could even hit the ground.

Remember the snow storm days from long ago when we waited for the school bus to arrive and when it didn’t, you simply had to stay home? Then your parents were miffed because one of them would have to call in sick to stay home with you? We all had to roll with the punches.

Today, the roads are empty and if you have to get somewhere fast, good luck with that. With the thick layer of ice still hidden under all that snow, it is treacherous to say the least.

Being a planner, I prepared for it – extra groceries bought and delivered to the older folks in my family, cars and snowblower topped with gas, house kept at a toastier temperature just in case there is a another power failure…

The only thing that would make this snow day almost perfect would be a tasty bowl of Pho for lunch. But as you can see from the photo above, any kind of delivery service will be impossible until the snowblower is put to use.

But I don’t mind being snowed in. It sounds weird but there is something comforting about going about my day with the snow gently falling outside and listening to “snow stories” from listeners on the radio.

How is your day going? And are you snowed in too today?

Bisous,

M xoxo

Am I the only one in the entire world who is unimpressed by Marie Kondo?

Don’t get me wrong, I have nothing against Marie. I’m just old enough to remember Peter Walsh who preached the same approach back in the late 2000s during “The Oprah Winfrey” segments.

Then again, everything old is new again, isn’t it?

I was into the decluttering arena long before I knew anything about Peter though.

Even as a kid, I needed for the environment around me to be decluttered and organized otherwise I couldn’t concentrate and write. To this day, keeping my space as feng shui/clutter-free possible helps tremendously when it comes to keeping my creative energy. The ideas are free to flow, the space is energized and everything is just zen.

These days,  I’m more into dostadning, a Swedish hybrid of the words for death and cleaning. It sounds totally morbid but it encompasses the same Marie/Peter methods with an added component – getting rid of excess to lessen the burden on your loved ones after you’re gone.

When I look at my belongings with dostadning in mind, I’m ruthless.

But I will thank Marie for one thing. Because of this KonMari craze, the thrift stores are OVERFLOWING with great stuff for cheap that “spark joy” and that “make my heart sing”.

Just look at this almost brand new book I bought for $1.25 that I had planned to buy at regular price:

[image removed]

Don’t believe me about the thrift stores? I dare you to visit your local one. Just be sure to declutter first! 🙂

M  xoxo